Sorry we have been missing!

Hello once again everyone, I want to apologize for how long it has been since we have posted. My summer was busy, and I wasn't in the hey lets write a blog and spill my life kinda mood. Well I suppose I will just start somewhere, so I will jump right in. Well I am back at school and taking 7 classes, so yes I'm insane and extremely stressed out, and its only 4 weeks into the semester. Nothing too exciting there but I do have some guy news! I met this guy lets call him Bob, well Bob is absolutely amazing, he is handsome, sweet, kind, and a Christian which I love. He even went to Guatemala where he built homes for orphans, can anyone be any more perfect. Well here is where I would like the advice of my readers. I am terribly awkward, shy, and all around dumb when it comes to him. I dint know what comes over me, but its like someone takes my speech away, and I am only allowed to speak in baby talk. So we all know that isn't attractive to guys, or at least I hope not because that would make you a pedophile. Well anyways, I want to hang out with him and get to know him more, we have short conversations when we see each other, but I want a more in depth discussion, about family's, goals, and views on the world. I really like this guy and don't want to screw it up. If there was a Step up your Game for Dummies book then I would probably go and buy it. Its amazing how everyone of my friends come to me for relationship advice, but when it comes to my relationships all I can possibly say is BLAH BLAH BLAH! I have a brain I swear it just likes to stop working every time Bob enters a room, or just from the sheer mention of his name. So guys please help me out, I will take all advice, good and bad, just help me make this happen! I don't have much other than my guy dilemma, but I promise to keep everyone up to date, and have more exciting things in the future.
Thanks for reading,
With the creepiest of love, Skylar

I'm sorry I go missing often

So things are kind of busy with summer classes wrapping up, at least the first set, so I'm sorry for my lack of presence. Good news for you though, is that my awkwardness has reached a point where I just have to take the time to share it with you.

Have you ever been caught staring at someone? I think this has happened to everyone, in a less extreme way, at least. I was driving in my vehicle on campus yesterday when I proceeded to stop at a red light. Of course, the most incredible body I've ever seen runs past me. I mean, I cannot express to you the amazing-ness of this body. I'm not typically the kind of girl that gets this way over a hot bod, but this was seriously an exception. Also, it's two pm and blisteringly hot outside, so there was a lot of sweat happening, too. And he was running, so there were muscles flexing, and it was just unbearable. Well, I suppose the light turned green while I was admiring this work of art, and the person behind me had to honk to bring me back to reality. As I drove off, I took my time and maybe turned my head out the drivers window to get a second look. And then he saw me and acknowledged that he saw me. By waving. You know, the nonchalant, I know you're imagining me forcefully throwing you down, wave. It was then that I realized that this guy is a ME major that I have classes with. And he lives next door to a friend of mine. Awkward? Yes. Story of my life. Kind of like the time that I was admiring a man in the grocery store and ran into an aisle...

So yeah. I'm going to have to work on that. Actually, it isn't hard to work on that because of undisclosed personal reasons maybe involving my admiration of a certain someone. Which I presume is going to cause a lot more awkward moments. And creepy ones. Like me saying weird things, because everyone knows that when I get nervous I say weird things.

Um. Here a few other things that have been on my mind.

--"Don't be a statistic." People who say this, have obviously never taken statistics. It bothers me to no end when I hear this used. "Practice safe sex, so you don't get pregnant in high school. Don't become a statistic." "Don't drive drunk. Don't be a statistic." Correct me if I'm wrong, but a negative statistic (like the statistic that 1/3 of girls will get pregnant in their teens) has a positive counterpart (2/3 of girls won't!). So even if you don't do whatever the statistic is warning you against, you'll be part of the counterpart statistic. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, IT CAN BE RELATED TO A STATISTIC. So yeah, that really bothers me.

--I have really bad road rage. Like really bad. I yell a lot of vulgar things at people while I drive. I don't really have a funny story about it. Actually, I'm trying to stop doing it all together. It's kind of rude of me. I mean, it's definitely rude. I say incredibly rude things in the midst of my road rage induced outbursts. I need someone to question my actions more, which may explain my attraction to my current crush. BUTTTTT that's a story for another day because I really shouldn't get too excited and ahead of myself about it. Or I might puke. Literally.

--Day dreaming slash coming up with elaborate scenarios in your head. Do you do that? Because I most certainly do!! The other day while I was driving home from college, I thought of whether the guy I like would like my hometown. I have come up with the belief in my head that this guy is the kind of guy I could get a cat with. Like I have the whole scenario planned out. He has an apartment, and I can't have cats at my place. So I'm thinking that after we've been dating for a while, he say he had a surprise day planned for us and we'd go pick out a cat at the animal shelter and take him to his apartment and name it and love it. I'll openly acknowledge that this increases my creepy factor exponentially. So I need to stop that.

Oh. And, btdubbs, I'm moving to Ireland for 5-8 months. The cool part about that sentence is that I'm 100% not kidding. In January. I'm spending Spring and Summer of 2011 studying there. So I'm actually about to go have a meeting with my adviser about it, and chat about the university I chose. Which is Queen's University in Belfast, Ireland, if you were wondering. Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that.

Soooo. If you have any advice for me, let me know. About Ireland, the crush I have, anything really.

Morgan

Feeling a little like Joe Dirt!

Alright so have you ever been lost? Not just in a car and you took the wrong turn, but really lost somewhere and you have no way to contact anyone? Well lucky for me, that happened this weekend. At Lonestar park of all places, if you don't know what that is, it is the horse races. So let me take you on my journey to feeling so alone.

So this past week me and two really good friends of mine decided that we would go to the Eli Young Band concert, being hosted at Lonestar park. What we didn't know was that everyone plus their second cousin twice removed would be there. We were completely overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up to watch ONE band perform. We knew a good number of people that were there already so we set out trying to find the best seat in the house. Well we noticed no one was writing back, and that is when we noticed none of our phones were working. It was like on New Years when everyone is trying to send Happy New Years text and the phone service gets backed up and the next day at like 3 you receive 80 more Happy New Years! I felt like this was maybe happening now. There were just so many people there and the majority of them were on their phones, that the system was just simply backed up. So we decided, well I guess being on the side of the stage is going to have to do. We tried to enjoy in the concert the best we could, but the combination of humidity, a mass number of people, the smell of alcohol and drugs just wasn't going to cut it.When luckily an old high school graduate of ours walked by, he told us to follow him, that everyone we knew was together. So we set out on a mission to find our friends, only problem was this kid walked at the speed of lightening, and there were at least 6 people in front of me, all of which were taller . So yes you called it this is where I got lost!

While we were walking I started to get this feeling like I was alone, and well I was. I stopped to see if I could see anyone I knew, and well that was a bust. I now had walked a good 50 yards alone. So I whip out my phone to try and call my friends, when I remembered, o ya my phone doesn't work. Wonderful, I don't know where I am, I don't know where my friends are, and the lesbian couple making out beside me was making me feel really uncomfortable. I felt awful, it was like everything was in slow motion. There I was, alone, in a sea of people, everyone walking past me, bumping into me, looking at me, people laughing, people talking, it was the most horrific feeling I have ever felt. At one point I looked up to the stars and thought really, why me, why do this to me. I was so freaked out and helpless I thought well maybe the North Star could guide me home, but we all know that wouldn't work in that situation, I was just helpless. I felt like Joe Dirt when his family left him at the Grand Canyon, just like that, a little boy with a mullet next to something enormous. For the first time in forever I really felt alone in the world.

So as I stood there I thought of what I should do, I could go back to the car, I could go back to where we were standing before, or I could have them call my friends over the intercom like they do for last children at Walmart. During all these thoughts I happened to turn slowly and wouldn't you believe it, my friend, she was on her phone, busting her way through the crowd, sweat dripping down her face, all for me. She ran to me, asked me what had happen, and I told her I was Joe Dirt!! I was so glad she came looking for me, I never had felt more relieved in my life.

I was lost for a good 20 to 30 minutes, enough time to think of every possible thing that could happen to me. I would like to blame Lonestar for allowing so many people in there, and my phone service, get your stuff together, so things like this doesn't happen again! We all decided it was a good time to leave before anything else happens to me! I love my friends, they are the absolute best! Thanks guys!

With love, Skylar

It's a love story

I wouldn't call myself a romantic. Okay, I would in some ways, on some days, but the typical romantic things aren't important to me. I would be totally okay in NOT celebrating Valentine's Day with my significant other, which works out since I don't have one; I would also be okay with not celebrating anniversaries; I don't really put much stock into cute stories about how people met, either. Skylar has an issue with this apparently. We were chatting on the phone today, like any normal biffles do, and she casually mentioned how we became friends. By casually mentioned, I mean she began to reminisce about it like we were getting married tomorrow. Cute how much we love each other, RIGHT?!? Well, it would have been much cuter if I had known what the hell she was talking about. Such a man quality, I know. She was pretty hurt when she realized (because I told her) that I had not a clue how we became friends. So let me let you guys in on this prelude to our friendship.

Our high school was so small that everyone knows who everyone is. So I'm sure that we always knew each other, but according to Skylar, it was my senior year that this bond was solidified. We were both avid UIL participants. Obviously, we were the cool kids. Ha, sarcasm. So our love was cultivated at a meet located at Texas A&M Commerce. Looking back, I loved having meets here. I have the fondest memories there. That local was the place where the guys would play hacky-sack on the roof. We also got locked inside a garden there once. Had to climb a tree to get out; it was pretty scary (read: WONDERFUL). My memories of other UIL meet locals include Rice, where we took the clothing from a guy from another school and only left him a dress to wear. Fun fact: Skylar later went to prom with him. At another meet, I met a guy I liked, and he got my number. Later I found out that he liked boys. Because he asked me if my cute male friend was single. At another meet, I saw the guy I liked all up on some chick. So it's clear that my UIL memories weren't really hard to top. But according to Skylar, this Commerce meet was special.

I still don't really remember what she's talking about, but she says we watched One Tree Hill with some guy. OH MY DEAR!!! It literally just came rushing back to me!!!! Ok, first of all, it was NOT at Commerce, it was at Tarleton. (Where my sister attends school now, coincidentally.) We watched One Tree Hill on a laptop with the aforementioned guy that we made wear a dress, and who Skylar went to prom with and offended him by asking him if he liked boys. There were only a few people we knew at this meet, so we were forced to hang out with each other, Skylar and I. It's okay, because we turned out to be wonderful friends, though. THANK GOD! Because you know, I don't need any more uncomfortable UIL memories.

After the meet, I drove Skylar home in my adorable MINI Cooper. No, I don't have it anymore, so don't bother asking to see my sweet ride. My favorite part of this story was what I supposedly said to Skylar as I was dropping her off at her house: "Hey. Let's spend more time together." I'm awestruck at how we're friends after that. What an incredibly creepy thing to say to someone. I could maybe understand it if she was a man friend that I was creeping on, but to say that to a person of the same sex is pretty weird. Sorry, Sky! Only she would turn this into a magical friendship.

After that, she came to my surprise 16th birthday party put together by my best friend, Brittney. That whole situation was weird in itself. Brittney isn't from the same town I am, so she didn't know any of my friends from school, so she resorted to creepily emailing random people I was friends with on Myspace (because that was the cool thing to do). She ended up messaging people that I didn't even really know, so it got kind of weird. It turned out to be a weird night. We spent a lot of time on my swing set talking about the huge crush I had, which a few months later turned into the most unexpected (and regretted) relationship of my life. Because, you know, I've had so many.....

So yeah, that's the romantic, sentimental story of how mine and Skylar's relationship began. Now you know! You are welcome. I'm glad my creepiness returned something of value to me. Cross your fingers that happens again! Welp, I've got a really huge test tomorrow. Summer school- I know, ridiculous. Cross your fingers for that, too?? It's going to be ridiculously hard and I'm going to need some serious good vibes. OR cheering up afterward. Because the mostly likely outcome is going to be me feeling absolutely awful afterward.

AND one final thought: if you leave nice anonymous comments, I really, really appreciate it. Like more than you realize. Is it strange that it will literally make my day some days when I read some people say? It does. You know what would make my day even more, though? If I knew who you guys were. Seriously, leave a name. If you want. Because I'd really like to know who these awesome people are.

Mmmk. Time to pass out and have weird dreams!

Morgan

How about you teach your child how to use a compass so he doesn't have to use breadcrumbs to navigate the woods?!

This is what I do when I'm sick and can't muster up the strength to study for my test that's on Monday.

This is one of my favorite videos ever.



This one just as funny as it is wrong.



And then I stumbled upon this little gem. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't even handle this.



"And hypothetically, there are female engineers. But Big Foot also exists hypothetically." Hahahahahaha. This is wonderful.



And then I watched this. And laughed out loud. Mostly just about the anti-bacterial versus a virus thing.



I can't stop laughing. I hope people understand these are jokes and I am in no way saying I agree with this mess.



YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. I have never found a video that makes me this happy. BEARS HAVE NO PITY!!!!!



I have no idea why these are so appealing to me.



I have to stop.



I'm sorry. I couldn't help but post these. When I feel better and can hold my head up on my own, I'll do better. I promise. Hope you laughed.

Morgan

Morgan’s milkshake will definitely bring you to the yard!

Alright so before I embark on my blog of the day, I want to first let everyone know what my title is about! OK so when me and Morgan start to talk the most awkward, random nonsense comes out of our mouths, and for Morgan this was one of them. I told her I had gotten a Baja blast, and if anyone knows Morgan you will know that that is her favorite drink, she of course got upset and well this is how the conversation went.

M- How dare you, I am sick and you go out and do a thing like that

S-Well I am sorry if it makes you feel better I thought of you while I enjoyed every drop

M- O well it doesn't matter because I made a milkshake

S- O awesome because I hate milkshakes

M- Well my milkshake WOULD bring you to the yard

S-WTF, I don't think the song was going for a literally interpretation, but I like yours so much more!

I love Morgan so much even when she is sick she never ceases to make me laugh! Thanks Morgan!

Alright so on with post, OK I don't know if this is something that bothers others, but for a fact it gets on my nerves. So facebook, I am pretty sure everyone has so I wont go into great detail of what this is about because I am almost positive everyone has seen this more than once. What is with the sentence with no spaces in between the first and the last name of a person? Anyone? And sometimes it might not even be a sentence, but a collection of words that describes that person. Well I don't understand stand, and I took the liberty of taking a few examples from my own personal facebook. And here they are,

1. Cody Stompasaurus Ladd

2. Kaleb ShuffleTron Schneider

3. Christopher IrunHonda Villines

4.Johnathan Stompaneesha Gualito

5. Edina LiveLife Brooks

So these are only a few, and I am by no means trying to put these people down, I actually think most of them are really great, so it isn't a personal vendetta I have for these people, it just really is the name in the middle that kills me. Like Stompasaurus is that a new breed of dino that you uncovered because I don't get it. Or IrunHonda, O so your like a manager at a Honda dealership and you are proud of your job, if so great, if not what is the point. Can anyone enlighten me on what this new fad is about. Thanks

With Love, Skylar

P.S here is a video that I find so funny, but please take it with a grain of salt!

A few pet peeves and a plea for help

First of all, I want to ask anyone and everyone who reads a quick question: what's your favorite fairytale? I have to write a paper analyzing a fairytale for a Cultural Formations class, and my professor told me that Alice in Wonderland is not a fairytale. Soooo instead of doing anything productive, I'm asking your advice. Because that's how much I value your opinion. :) By the way, we aren't allowed to write about Snow White, so don't bother posting that as your favorite, even though it's one of the few fairy tales I really respect.

I thought I'd share with you a few of my pet peeves, the first of which is really relevant to my plea for advice.

--Fairy tales. I'm aware that they're necessary to a child's psychological development, but that doesn't mean that they don't get on my nerves incredibly much. I hate that society thinks it's okay to teach girls that our only role is to be a passive possession. I hate the end goal of most fairy tales is marriage, love, typically to a prince, or eventual prince. Fairy tales set people up for disappointment. Maybe they give hope in rough times, but I'm not convinced I believe in obtaining your happily ever after via marriage.

--People that order decaf coffee. WHY?!?!?!?!?! I just don't understand it. Why drink something so bitter and unappealing if it isn't going to help you pull an all-nighter or stay awake after having an amazingly long night??? I LOVE my Nonfat Peppermint White Mocha with an extra shot of espresso just as much as the next gal, but I'm not going to drink it if I'm not getting some kind of benefit in the form of energy/ability to stay awake.

--When my people get upset and expect me to know how to handle it. Not necessarily they're problem, but just the fact that they're upset. They are really only two people in my life that I can handle upset: Brittney and Fatema. I can tell Brittney whatever the hell I'm thinking and she doesn't get more upset or offended. Let's face it, most of my thoughts are pretty offensive, so that's really nice of her. Fatema is a Psych major, and has been the sole reason I respect Psych majors a lot more than I used to. She can have logical discussions when she's upset, and that's so rare. We can talk about things, and she just needs someone to listen and reassure her sometimes. She's logical and wonderful, so it's always easy to reassure her without lying, which I really like. Other than those two, I have no idea how to handle an upset person. I'm bad at sympathizing and verbally expressing it. I never know what to say, and it just gets really awkward.

--When people bring up my age in irrelevant situations. Listen, I totally get that I'm younger than most of my peers. This can be really relevant in situations like going to bars and things of that nature, but typically I don't really understand why it needs to be brought up. It just makes me feel like people think they have this entitlement because they're older than me, and it really bothers me. I don't have much to say about this, just wanted to thank whoever my anonymous friend is that apparently agrees with me. (Check Skylar's last post.) Soooo yeah. That's it.

I'm going to late for class now, so let me know about the fairytale advice? Thanks. :) Sorry for the short, unfunny post. I'll work on that ASAP. I'll leave you with this HILARIOUS engineering cartoon.




HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! SO TRUE!!!!!!

Morgan

I'm back and here to stay!

So yes as you all may know, I haven't wrote in some time now. I guess from leaving school, coming home, and feeling all alone in the world I just haven't felt up to par with this whole blog thing. And well from all the rude comments I get from all our readers, you all don't really care to listen to my stories. Here is what I have to say about all that, one if you want to make rude comments about me, go right ahead, but how about this time leave your name, I mean I go out on a limb to show everyone who I really am, and all you do is sit behind your computer and say rude things to me, its not funny it is only annoying. So man up and reveal yourself. THANKS! Next I want to say sorry that I don't have ridiculous things happen to me the way my best friend Morgan does. You see me and Morgan are two different people, she allows herself to be put in these situations , when I don't. And she should she is younger than me, and everything she is going through I have been through, well maybe not being forced into drinking liquid silver, or have an odd obsession with small garden friends. But that is why we work so well with each other, I am always there for her when the situations she is put into fail, or leave her face down in a toilet someone. And she knows that. So no matter what you say or how much you would prefer her stories over mine, this is OUR blog and I will keep writing until we both decide it is time for this relationship to be over, and i have a feeling that will be never. I promise to work more on the correct form of blogscript, even though a personal blog should be however we want it, but this blog isn't just for me and Morgan it is for every person reading to enjoy and relate to us in someway or another. I hope that there is someone out there who is able to see that the things I say aren't worthless, that they mean something, and that I am a person too, and words hurt me the way they hurt everyone, something I have learned in the past couple of years. So if you mean what you say, great, always stick by your words, but think before you speak, because the words that come out of your mouth may really hurt someone. I have seen plenty of girls who have always had that tough girl thing be broken down by the smallest of words, and like a good friend I will always be there to pick up the pieces.



Thanks, with love, Skylar

If you comment my posts, I'll do it more often...

I'm not 100% sure how to start this post. I'm going to be honest, I think there'll be a lot of rambling in it. I'll start out with the best part. I saw C and his girlfriend. It was uncomfortable and I puked. I really wish I were kidding right now. A friend of mine used to teach at my high school, and she didn't want to go watch the kids she taught graduate alone. So I'm a pushover and went with her. I don't know how I forgot that C's brother was graduating, but whatever. I sat down and of course, three rows below me come the absolute last people I want to see. I really don't have a lot to say about it. This was the first time I had seen them, and I'm not even sure if they saw me. There were traces of public tears and afterward I puked in a bathroom stall. Even after that though, I was comforted by passive aggressive remarks made by more than a few people. They addressed topics including, but not limited to, the fact that I was indeed NOT wearing hoe shorts to a graduation and the miscellaneous comments about career choices. Sooo that was sweet. And I'm going to be 100% serious for a second and say that this isn't even a big deal. Kudos to me, right? In all honesty, they seem like they go together. I mean that in a negative way and in a positive way. So way to be mature. BUT in a less mature moment of mine, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm still made about petty things. (i.e. my birthday, Christmas, and hurtful remarks)

But here's something that IS a big issue for me. I had a dream that I was quite displeased with that night. No, it wasn't anything like the dream I had about my resident. But it was about C. I dreamt that he called me and apologized and said really nice things and then hung up. So now the saying In your dreams is pretty literal. Cool....

Sorry about that lapse in humor. I hate it when I go off on a serious/not funny tangent.

To make up for it, I have a story about quite possibly the epitome of my creepiness. I'm creeping hard on this guy I have classes with. We're both ME majors, so we've had quite a few classes together and will continue to. We have one this summer, and at least two in the fall. Well, I might have saved a picture of him from his facebook onto my phone. And I might have, and still am, texting it to my friends, and my mom. Just to be like, "HEY GUYS!!!! I'm creeping hard on this guy. We actually talk in person and he asked about my gnome collection AND HERE'S A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!" The general response has always involved the words, "wow" and "creep". So I'm dealing with that....

Might means definitely. By the way....

And my mom thinks I need to go on anti-anxiety medication because I'm really uptight and get really anxious and act like I'm on speed sometimes. So she thinks I'm weird... BUT I refuse to until I donate at least one batch of eggs. So that is my life right now.

Yours creepily,
Morgan

Instead of talking about me being awkward, today I have awkward observations.

Today I have a clear outline of my venting topics. A few nights ago I hung out with a good friend from high school, and I feel that the reminiscing should be shared. You're welcome. :)

Okay, the first thing doesn't have anything to do with my high school, or anyone from there. But it's pretty relevant because I know a single person in my life that does this. Let me premise this with the fact that I saw a CSI episode about this once, and I absolutely didn't believe that people actually did this. That is, until I was being a creep on facebook and saw pictures of an acquaintance dressed up as an animal. I can only assume that he rubs on other people dressed as animals for sexual pleasure, because that's what CSI says. I genuinely wanted to know how this gets started, so my friend and I did some internet research. We didn't find anything we were looking for, BUT we did find something disturbing enough to distract us from the mission: if you're a minor, your parents have to escort you to these "festivals". I can just imagine this conversation happening:

"Hey, Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you two. Would one of you mind accompanying me to a convention where I'll dress up as an animal and rub up on other people dressed as animals to fulfill my sexual desires? K, thanks for accepting my lifestyle choice!"

There are just so many things about this I don't understand. Like the costume cleaning process. I'm assuming that has to be dry cleaned. I guess you could say you do this for kids birthdays or something. Or you could be ambitious and say you were doing a commercial or something in it. But I just don't see how anyone would be comfortable going into a dry cleaners with an adult sized animal costume and saying, "Yeah, I got a little excited at my convention and really need this dry cleaned. How long will it take, because I have a date in it soon?"

I'm just getting more and more confused about this....

Ok. I've retyped this paragraph about seven times because I'm trying to handle it sensitively. Anyone that knows me knows that is not something I do well. I mean, I might have made one of my best friends cry because I told her she was naive and I'm just absolutely not able to handle friendship topics sensitively. I think a friend of mine in high school had an imaginary girlfriend. There, I said it. We all said it to each other, and now it's out in the open. When I say that I think he had an imaginary girlfriend, I mean that he talked about his girlfriend like she was real and told everyone she was an actual person, but I just don't think that was the case. Even though "she" lived a few towns away, no one ever met her. Not even his best friend. He would show us naked pictures of her, but they never included a face. And the hair color was never the same in two photos. Neither was the skin tone. I feel like that's a compelling enough argument to settle this. I mean, it's been like three years since this happened, so the details are fresh on my mind. But maybe, maybe it was someone messing with him. Like he thought she was a real person, but really it was someone just sending random nude pics of the internet. Oh, it's coming back to me. I legitimately think that we were pretty convinced that it was two girls making our friend think that this other one was real. Like I said, three years ago is a little foggy, but I'm sticking with my original claim that the girlfriend was imaginary. This is one of my favorite high school memories. Obviously, high wasn't spectacular for me...

Quick subject change- an Asian family visited my apartment a few months ago. They knocked on my door and asked if they could show their son the apartment. I was wary at first, but then they explained their journey in adorable broken English. Turns out, the had lived in my apartment while getting their Master's here twenty years ago and conceived a child. Nine months later, they delivered said child on my bed. So they wanted to come and show their son where he was born. My bed. I'm not thrilled that this happened, but, I mean, cool story, right? They didn't stay long, but in the short time they were here, it was so clear that the boy was uncomfortable. It's like his eyes were saying, "Sorry that you now know that an Asian baby was born where you sleep." So yeah, fun fact about my apartment. I totally understand if any of my friends that read this never want to come over again. I also totally understand if my friends that read this do want to come over.

And that's all I have today. I'm pretty grumpy, so I'm really not going to try to dig any deeper than what I had previously saved in my phone as "Ideas for Sky-Vans".

Morgan

I'm not the pretty sister, and I get reminded of that fact often

Good news!! My computer is officially fixed. Yay!!! I'm not worried about this happening again, because no one is here anymore that will use Internet Explorer to look up NSFW material because that person knows I use Firefox and won't see the IE history. I mean, IF that was even the problem....

And in other news- A question I often ask myself is "What would I normal person do in this situation?" Never before has the answer been, "Go to the drive in with Sky and a bucket of chicken." That was my Friday night exactly a week ago. Something about being home makes me so much more comfortable with not being on par with normal. And spending time with Skylar doesn't help that situation. So long story short: we rolled up to the KFC drive thru and, I kid you not, asked, "What's the least amount of chicken we can get in a bucket?" Because really, it was the bucket with which we were most concerned. If you were wondering- the answer is six. You can get six pieces of chicken in a bucket.

That is what I do when I'm home. Another thing I like to do when I'm home: spend time with my little brother. My family, yeah sure. But mainly the smallest sibling. He literally had tears in his eyes and asked our parents if I could sleep in his room because he "never gets to spend time with Morgan anymore." SO CUTE, RIGHT?! Well, I like to go to his baseball games. I have awfully bad anxiety, so I get ridiculously nervous watching. But the last game I went to was particularly eventful. Turns out, one of umps was absolutely the definition of attractive. And the kicker? My sister and I were desperately trying to figure out where we knew him from, and it turns out that he has asked her out on several dates. She declined, God knows why. And yet again was I reminded that I am indeed not the pretty sister. Just like in high school when people told me that. Often. So I'm not sure how to handle that.

Another situation I'm not sure how I'm going to handle: a friend of mine is going to come stay with me. In my apartment. For more than one day. I really want her to stay with me. I'm more concerned about her. Like, I couldn't possibly have a roommate, so I hope this doesn't have an effect on our friendship. And I have a couch made for midgets. Anyone who has been to my apartment knows I'm not exaggerating. It's long but really, really thin. And that's what she said. But no, I'm not really not kidding.

Something that happened to me yesterday: I gave the lead in Cute Is What We Aim For a lighter. So it was pretty legit, I'm a huge fan of their music. And by huge fan, I mean that I want to make out to it. BUT that just makes me realize how I don't have that in my life, sooooo.... There's that. For the record, I absolutely don't smoke, but my best friend left her lighter in my car, so I definitely gave that mess up fast. Sorry, B. But it was absolutely worth it because he definitely said, "Sweet car." Shaant was pretty cunning in real life. I might have texted my mom a picture of him and I. She then replied, "Please go home alone." Which made me feel pretty good, because she apparently was under the impression that I just asked a potential hook up to take a picture with me so I could text it to my mom for approval. This also means that she thought that I had a potential hook-up. And an attractive one at that. Yet again I find myself saying "Thanks for the confidence boost, MOM!" So yeahhh....

Here's a picture of Shaant. So you know what kind of guy my mom thinks I'm getting...

If only....

Which leads me right into another concern- why the HELL aren't there more guys like this in my life? I'm a BIG fan of beards. In fact, beards absolutely should be added to my make-out list. Mmm. And because I have an undeniable attraction to men with beards and long hair, I might have been excessively creepy to a guy on Twitter and/or Formspring. Which is just great for me.

Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan

Sorry for being such a missing person.... Not that you were missing me...

First of all, sorry for being the most sketch person ever and not posting. I'm the worst. Trust me, I'm very aware of that. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been forced to work in my boss's office all day long almost every day of the week. "Morgan, you could totally take your computer to work with you and write about the wacky things your boss does/says!!" Well, dear reader, maybe I could if I had a laptop with working wireless. That's right. I live a charmed life and I feel the need to publicly complain about the most minute thing ever: no wireless. That's why I am looking to alternative methods for making money. Since my job doesn't pay me in real money, you know...

AND another obstacle in my blogging path- I had toe surgery. Yep, I'm claiming that my toe preventing me from typing. Obviously. I didn't get time off from work, so by the time I got to come back to my apartment, I just crashed. And by crashed I mean I spent a lot of time on my couch watching movies and Deadliest Warrior and Man vs. Wild. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching Bear Grylls in nature, but I am no questions asked a Geoff Desmoulin girl. If I could pick only one show to watch for the rest of my life, it'd be Deadliest Warrior. I can listen to him talk his Biomedical Engineering lingo and look at his built body every day... AND he totally replied me on twitter. NOT. EVEN. KIDDING. I'd date rape him so fast, it's unreal.

Something of more substance: I saw C yesterday. My little brother desperately wanted to have his birthday party at a certain location where C happens to have a second job. And of course he, as in my little brother, begged me to come. And my sweet little brother is my weakness, so I went. I crossed my fingers that C wouldn't be working. Let me clarify: solely for the purpose of me not being put in a weird position. In all honesty, I knew I'd be a huge wuss about it and probably get all weird and emotional and I just didn't want that to happen. Sooooo of course my luck isn't great, and Chason ran up to me telling me he saw C right as C texted me saying he saw Chason. Literally, here's our conversation (paraphrased- don't quote me. I always delete our conversations after they happened.):

C- "Just saw Chason. Lol."
M- "Yeah, we're here for his birthday."
C- "Oh cool. I don't want things to be awkward."
M- "It's cool, I had to go anyway."
C- "Later."
M- "Thanks for giving Chason those extra tokens. He was really excited."
C- "No prob. He's a cool kid."

Seems like a totally normal conversation, right?? It wasn't. I will not be friends if this is what friends are. I refuse to go from having conversations of substance to this. People change, that's all it boils down to. And by that I really mean that people that were once good people decide that partying, drugs, and generally the lack of anything of substance are priorities. I deleted the conversation, so I wouldn't be tempted to make myself look weird, stupid, embarrassing in any way. Which is pretty hopeless anyway. Actually, I do feel WAY better about myself after that anonymous comment about his new girl being a troll doll that has a low IQ. Anyway. I'm going to go ahead and put this out there- yesterday was a good day to see C. Like I saw a friend, and she was like, "Whoa, you look good." And I was like, "Good, because I saw C." Ohhh, this is my life. I mean, I saw him. I assume he saw me. Maybe he didn't. Totally doesn't matter. Mainly because of that anonymous comment.... Love you, Anonym.

And sorry for that...

Annddddd more embarrassing things about myself: I like cops. Sky and I had a talk about this on our way to the drive ins with a bucket of chicken (this was our Saturday night...). I have a list of... well, professions... I'd like to make out with. Is that weird? My last post hinted at how hot I think teachers are. You know, attractive teachers. But here's my complete list: teacher, cop, firefighter, soldier, emt/paramedic. A good title for this list is Professions I think are hot... So there's that...

I'm not going to elaborate on this, because it's weirder than I'm comfortable with, but I'm really bad at texting. Like bad to the point where on Saturday night two of my best friends forcefully took my phone from me to text a guy. This is partially because they love me and think that I might need some male interaction in my life. Not even anything bad, just some form of interaction. Thank guys.

Mk, I'm pretty much out of topics. I'm going to work tomorrow, so I'm sure I'm going to have lots of comments about that. Also, please email me (skyvanblog@gmail.com) if you want to read my personal blog. I post more there. Go ahead and email me if you think you can help me with texting dilemmas. I'm definitely currently having one. Which will inevitably turn into an embarrassing story to post here. Ahh, the cycle...

Yours awkwardly,
Morgan

This post is wholly a delerium induced over-share...

First things first- this is pretty much been the most amazing Monday ever, in the weirdest ways. I slept through my last final, but my adorable autistic professor was like "No biggie! You can totally still take it because you come to my office and talk to me about things like the ridiculous greed present in modern medicine. And you come to class. I like that. You can take my exam late. No problem." That's what I heard at least. Right after that, he was all like, "HEY! BTDUBBS, you totally rocked your last two exams. Like above class average rocked." So that was nice. After that, I had OLIVE GARDEN. Seriously, in my life, that's the closest thing I've had to a date in sooo long, even though it was with two other girls. I don't get to go out that often, and on a scale of 1-AMAZING, it was wonderful. So yeah, I'm publicly expressing my extreme desire to go out and embarrass myself in front of guys even more... But anyways, after that I had several hours with my staff. It was also great. I do feel that there are a few issues that should be addressed though.

That is, after I address the BEST THING EVER. Some anonymous friend,- I mean, I'm assuming friend... even if I don't know you, you're totes one of my favorite people ever- left the best comment I've ever read on this post. When people say things like that, it is the literally the best thing ever. So thanks for that.

And back to my staff. We share way too much with each other. Moreso than a normal staff does, I feel. We have been so busy lately, that staff bonding has kind of fallen off of the bandwagon. Luckily for us, checkouts bring us together for days on end and that's the perfect environment for me to get too comfortable and over share. That is absolutely something that I have an issue with: getting too comfortable and sharing things that I probably shouldn't. Not like things that are too much and make me lose friends, but when I get comfortable I just share things that might make people think I'm a creep or whatever. Example: this blog. Another example: tonight, one of my best friends that's on my staff and also from Pakistan and I agreed that we'd really like to go to the West Stacks (a part of the library) with a man friend and not to study. Strictly hypothetical... Whatevs. And I'm not going to actually write down this next thing, but I hope this picture describes the other thing that F and I shared tonight with our staff.




(For those of you that don't get it: the teacher off of 90210.)

Two out of the last three nights, I've pulled all nighters. So I'm kind of delirious, but I'm going to give this a shot anywayyyyy. I HATE STEREOTYPES ABOUT TEXANS. I also cannot stand it when people feed those stereotypes. Let's discuss.

George W. Bush- I'll be the first to say that I love W. I want to meet him and take a picture with him. So incredibly badly. But just because I support him, doesn't mean that I feel the need to talk about things like how the south will rise again. I'm nowhere near being politically correct, but get some common sense. Seriously. Most people from the north annoy me, but I can't stand banjo playing self righteous southerners even more so.

Riding horses/rodeo/etc- I actually did have a horse and rodeo in high school. I'm not saying anything negative about it. Trust me, I'm dying to go stay a weekend with my sister solely for the fact that she attends a rodeo college and my facebook creeping has made me realize that I desperately need a weekend to be in the middle of nowhere with guys that don't wear colored shorts, Sperry's, and carry black cards. BUT by no means does everyone in Texas ride their horses to school. In fact, I've been thoroughly disappointed with the lack of legitimate rodeo men in my area.

Line Dancing- I probably feel the most passionate about this one. NO ONE SELF LEGITIMATELY LINE DANCES FOR FUNSIES!!!! I mean, its one thing to do it as a joke, but I cannot stand when people think that anyone that's from the country or anyone who rodeo line dances. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Not one legitimate rodeo contestant goes line dancing. Trust me, after four years of high school with my sister, I know that doesn't happen. Most bull riders are drunken whores that play games like the Bad to Lay Down Tour, which is ridiculously awful and hilarious, and a completely different topic. Two stepping is totally normal, dancing of any country way is normal, but LINE DANCING IS NOT. The only people you will see line dancing are the people that are severely misinformed and seriously out of touch with rodeo. I seriously cannot express my frustration with this.

I don't think I can continue. I'll elaborate more later, but the ten hours of sleep I've gotten in the last 72 hours is just not cutting it anymore. I just really wanted to post so I could point out how awesome whoever left that comment is...

Yours awkwardly,
Morgan

"Sharks are not very intelligent and certainly don't hold grudges."

Ok. You ask, and I provide. Getting comments on my posts is seriously the best thing ever. BUT this will be my last post until after finals are over. Mechanical Engineering doesn't necessarily come naturally to me, so I'm going to be studying until my fingers bleed. Which doesn't sound like a good analogy, but totally is. Since my classes are all math and engineering, I just do a lot of practice problems to study. After enough practice problems, my pencil gives me blisters and genuinely might make me bleed. So BAM, analogy validated.

I'm going to go ahead and preface this post with telling you that I am extremely mad right now. Okay, maybe not mad, but in a VERY grumpy mood. I'm not going into tons of detail about why (if you do want to know, read my personal blog- email skyvansblog@gmail.com for the link), but I will tell you that I'm currently taking suggestions on how to be as petty and extreme as possible. There's a playground in front of my building and I legitimately considered kicking a toddler as I was walking home today. That's what kind of mood I'm in. And to make things worse, I can't even go to PetCo (which is where my best friend takes me when I'm upset because I LOVE cats) because I'm so busy. After I pump out this post, I've got a million and two things to get done. All of which involve things I'm not a huge fan of, i.e. studying for math, talking to residents about issues, chilling in my boss's office for funsies because no one signed up for check outs, nighttime studying, etc. So summary: I'm in a pissed off mood and feel like making lots of unfriendly comments about things like C... and... I tried to think of more things that I can be rude about, but that's really all I've got. I hate generating functions, but I adore my mildly autistic professor, so it balances out.

First things first: the title of this post is just a random and direct quote from a friend's oceanography book. Completely random and hilarious. I love sharks. To the point where when people ask me what my favorite holiday is, I tell them its SHARK WEEK!!!!! You know, on the Discovery channel? BEST. WEEK. EVER. They just play shows about sharks all week. It happens over the summer, I think in August, so get excited.

And I have a question for anyone who will respond: how do you feel about wearing jewelry that an ex got you? When I was asked this question by a then significant other, I definitely thought I would have no problem wearing stuff he got me after we broke up. It just occurred to me how weird it is that we had this conversation before thinking about breaking up. Maybe I shouldn't be so naive... But back to the point, now I think that wearing jewelry given to you by an ex is like living a lie. Why would I want to wear something given to me out of love when obviously things weren't what you thought they were? How do you feel about it? PLEASE comment this post with some opinions. Because I just might have a few necklaces and a pair of earrings that won't ever be worn again. Like I'm going to get new jewelry after finals so I'll have gold to wear because wearing my current stuff puts me in the worst mood. Wearing stuff C got me just makes me think about things like how I spent my last birthday crying on my couch alone because I was under the impression that "I can't wait until your birthday. We're going to do something fun." meant that we'd do something when obviously it meant that he was going to talk on the phone in the hallway for funsies all night. Or about the times I got scolded for being out late when obviously I should have been home so he'd have a place to stay after clubbing with the girls/hoes that "didn't care if he had a girlfriend." So those are my thoughts...

Another thing I feel exceptionally strong about, in a good way though, is kissing people on the cheek when you greet them. So many other cultures do this and I want it to go mainstream in America. I have a good friend, slash he's also the son of one of my professors- fun fact, that is from Mexico. After learning of my extreme excitement about cheek kiss greetings, we know do this every time we see each other. It seriously makes my day. Does it make my day even more when his dad is nearby so he sees that I'm cool with his culture and maybe that'll influence my grade? YES. Absolutely yes.

The other day, while I was in my Autistic professor's office, I saw that he was looking up articles about Yetti's. Do I even have to comment on this?! One of the greatest moments of my life was seeing my five foot tall, eighty year old professor googling Yetti's. (*Note: stats not confirmed, only estimated.)

I want to do a whole post about why I hate stereotypes about people from Texas. So I'm not going to spoil it with snide comments now, but be looking for that. Because I really, really do hate Texas stereotypes.

"Morgan, you're so negative. What are some things you love, other than rude comments about C and cheek kiss greetings??" you ask. Youtube videos of turtles. THAT is something I love.




^^fifteen seconds in is where the entertainment starts...



^^A CAT AND A TURTLE????? First of all, this a creepy cat. Why is it so frozen? What is it looking at? Why do I love it SO much?? And that's a fast little turtle!! I've watching this too many times for it to be considered normal....





^^that goldfish is a little trickster.



^^it looks like a little dinosaur!!!!!! Also, this kid obviously has no life. just like me...



^^bahahaha. i really hope you're finding these as great as I am... Or it could just be another example of how much of a creep I am...


Okay. I really have to get to work and then study. So I will see you all after finals. My last one is Monday...

With awkwardness, and creepiness,
Morgan

Liquid silver is so gross.

I get sick a lot. Not only the whole I get nervous and hurl thing, but literally ill because I have the immune system of a fetus. Because of this, my mother always tries preventative measures to keep me from getting sick. One phase she went through was making me take liquid silver. I had no idea that this was something you could buy for funsies. Skylar really enjoyed this- she'd be at my house and anytime I'd cough or sneeze or sniffle, my mom would get the liquid silver out. I feel like you should know that it tastes AWFUL. I'm a huge wuss, so I would throw a fit every single time. I HATE liquid silver. Luckily, its been a few years since my mom was on her silver spree.

Around the same time I was being forced to take what I consider to be dangerous amounts of the silver, Skylar saw a special on some man that drank too much of it and turned purple. After this special, Skylar found out that if you eat an insane amount of carrots, your body will turn orange. Whether this is accurate or not is debatable, but I saw an episode of House where it happened, which is absolutely good enough for me. When Skylar comes home for the summer, we plan for her to come stay with me for a week and just eat carrots. I already refuse to wear orange, so I'm definitely not going to turn my skin that color. Maybe because there was a spray-tanning incident my sophomore year of high school that perpetually scarred me. A high school professor still won't let me live it down. Long story short- my red hair mixed with orange skin is just really unflattering. Luckily, I have a friend that's down for whatever who is willing to accompany Skylar on this adventure. Don't worry, I'll document it all.

And in a topic related to the post about me being exceptionally emotional, I'm cutting this post short to go to my last Bible study of the semester, which is the last small group with my mentor and surrogate big. I'm very prepared to cry. A lot.

Please bear with me during finals; it is hectic.
Morgan

The Night at the Greek Theatre

Alright so I guess that Morgan isn't the only creepy friend that I have, last night I found myself being creeped on. So me and my friend Kayla went tanning yesterday, we always walk because well it isn't very far. On our way back it was getting dark and it was such a pretty night, so we decided to walk around campus for awhile. We ended up laying down in the lawn across from our Greek Theatre, we were just talking when we decided to call our friend Garrett, he seemed to be kinda mad at us so we thought it would be a good idea to hang out and clear the air. So we called and put him on speaker phone, we asked him to come but he was being really shady, he kept studdering and not making alot of sense. We asked him what he was doing and he said um I'm at my car I'm gunna make pancakes. Pancakes Garrett?? Its 9 o clock at night. We then started to make him feel uncomfortable by telling him things like wrap it before you tap it, and no glove no love. We figured "making pancakes" was code for sexing. lol. And well we like to make Garrett feel awkward. So we just decided fine don't come at least bring us some pancakes. Well we were about to get off the phone when we hear someone calling our names and it was loud, we look over and we see Garrett sitting outside his window with a bullhorn somehow still driving yelling our names. It was so great, we ran over (shoeless) and jump on his car, holding up traffic, but hey we didn't care. That is what a true creep of a friend is.

Well Garrett had to go, he was really making pancakes, go figure, well he let us have his bullhorn, that the wrong thing to do. Kayla and I went back to lawn and sat where no one could see us, and we started yelling very weird things to people. One guy was on his phone and we yelled hey get off the phone or I'm making a citizens arrest, aw poor guy looked around so creeped out because it was 10 at night and pitch black, funny thing is he really got off the phone. I love making people do things. Next a guy on a bike delivering Jimmy Johns was peddling his bike so fast we yelled Go Jimmy Johns man, he looked back almost lost control, but no worries that Jimmy Johns man is a pro.

So that whole day me and Kayle were upset because we don't have boyfriends, nor do we have guys interested in us. Well last night we realized, WOW this has to be the reason guys don't like us, we yell at random people, we talk in English accents, I always speak like a robot because it sounds like I'm speaking French, and I will always yell at Kayla in public at random times (these stories will come at a later date) what guy wants to be around that.? Well this is how I am, and if a guy doesn't like that then o well, one day someone will love me, with all my faults and all.

Well thats all I have for today, thanks for reading!
With love and creepiness, Skylar

My name is Morgan, and I'm abnormally emotional

First of all, I'm sorry for the lack of post Friday. There are two and a half weeks of classes left, so you can understand that its a little stressful at the moment. And by a little, I mean it in the way that when you say that you murdered someone... a little, is no different from murdering someone... a lot. And in case that analogy didn't do anything for you, then I'll just lay it out for you: it's a really stressful time of year. Luckily for you, when I get stressed, I get uncomfortable. More so than normal. I also make more aggressive comments than I normally do.

Which brings me to this: I'm abnormally emotional. It isn't because I'm stressed; I'm always this way. I used to think that I just would get upset because my relationship with C turned unhealthy and all that mess. But now that we don't speak, it is absolutely clear that had nothing to do with it. When I say I'm abnormally emotional I don't just mean that if you say something mean to me, like "If you were more physically attractive, you'd have another boyfriend already," I'll cry and hold a grudge. Which, by the way is a true story. But anyway, I have a heightened sense of apathy. For example, I really love my mom. I'm a sweetheart, I know... But is it normal to cry while watching TV shows when something sad happens, like someone's mom dies?? I seriously doubt it. If anything sad happens that I can even relatively related to, it seriously starts the waterworks. This hinders my ability to go out to the movies with people, watch programs in a classroom setting, and lots of other normal activities.

Another way I exhibit my lack of emotional stability is the fact that I cannot think of one small group over the past two years in which I didn't start crying. I've been with the same Bible study slash small group for both years of college, and no matter what we're talking about, I can't help but get emotional. Even if I'm not upset. We can be talking about our future goals, and then out of nowhere- there I am crying again. Ridiculous. I wish one of those girls would man up and kick me in my throat next time that happens. Which I assuming will be Thursday at 5:30pm, like every week. AND it just so happens that this is our last Bible study together. Our leader is moving to Detroit to be a teacher for TFA and I'm kind of pissed that she's leaving, but really excited. I've already started calling her by her last name and planning classroom surprises to get her.

The incident that made me realize I had this emotional problem is the most pathetic of them all. I was on the phone with my mom, telling her about how I really wanted to get a TiVo for when I move. My mom is pretty aggressive, so she obviously told me no and shut it down real fast. I proceeded to cry. On my way to class. To the point where I didn't go to class because I was so upset. I should clarify, I wasn't upset about not getting the TiVo. I'm not that spoiled. I was upset by how she approached viciously turning me down. Her reaction was to tell me she's worried about my social skills. She "doesn't want me to become a hermit." First of all, how does getting a TiVo make me a hermit?? I wanted a TiVo because I'm always in meetings or busy and can't watch my favorite shows. Secondly, if you know me, you know I'm fine with becoming a hermit. A few life outcomes I'm perfectly okay with are as follows: a hermit with thirty cats and a library, a politician's wife, a more scientifically apt version of my high school English teacher, an awkward mechanical engineer. HOW DOES MY MOM NOT KNOW THAT I'M OKAY WITH BEING A HERMIT???? This upset me even more and she proceeded to suggest seeing a therapist. Not. Even. Kidding.

It didn't help my mom's image of me when I called her at 1am Friday night crying, either. Literally as soon as she answered, I started crying hysterically. It was also pouring down rain, so I opted to calm down, drive home, and call her back. As I get back to my apartment soaking wet, I call her back and tell her all about how I had an awful time at formal. Which is very true. And that's the reason I was crying. I hadn't originally wanted to go to formal and was there only by some coercing from a few friends. Friends that ended up spending the entire night with their dates, but whatever. I'm a wuss and couldn't control my emotions. I ended up telling my mom that I hate formals and I'm never going again, unless I have a particular date or am on exec. I can't dance and definitely didn't have a date, so the entire night was uncomfortable for me. One guy told me to come dance and somehow the conversation ended up with him telling me he feels he can be rude to me because he "has faith I can handle it". Direct quote. Obviously, this did NOT make my mother any more confident in my social skills and once again she suggested therapy. This time she added, "Maybe some medication would balance you out." Thanks, Mom.

And on a semi-related topic, I watched a 3 hour PBS special about Wuthering Heights on Netflix Instant Watch the other day. And cried the entire time. I am being so serious. Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite books of all times and I have no shame in admitting that I cried until three am watching a movie about it. It is a really weird story- with the necrophilia and incest and all, and it makes me feel differently after watching/reading it every time. I just thought I should share that with you. You should obviously watch it.

Anyway. I'm abnormally emotional and it isn't even cool. This makes me sound extra ridiculous, and I swear I'm not. It just happens and I get over it and that's that. It doesn't affect my friendships, at least I don't think it does. For the next post, I'll try to not sound so pathetic. Because I'm totally not.

Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan

Its Random time!

OK Well hello to everyone again. So last week on my only blog I got some really bad feedback, and I must say it kinda hurt my feelings. I want everyone to know this is my first blog ever, Morgan has had another blog for about a year. So she knows the proper way to do things. So I am sorry no one liked what I had to say. But in a way I kinda agree, I am not a story teller, and crazy, embarrassing things don't happen to me the way they happen to Morgan. I am the girl that sees people being dumb, and I am the girl that makes fun of them. I like to make people laugh, not have people laugh at the things I do. So me and Morgan have come up with a new idea, Morgan will have the stories of her odd but wonderful life, and each post I put up will consist of different topics where I will state my opinion, good or bad. I hope that this is much better for the haters out there. You guys only make me more focused and determined to be great. So thanks, no hard feelings? So lets get things started shall we?

Frat guys- Here's my take on Frat guys, who in the world told them in order to be in the "Brother hood" you must dress half old man half dirty trucker? What is with the shorts that come three inches above the knee with penny loafers, and that is just the bottom. The top has the gross over sized t-shirt with probably something about beer and women, and a bright-colored trucker hat, put on backwards, with a bit of their hair sticking out of the front. I hope everyone knows what I am talking about, if you don't hit up a college campus I promise you will see what I am talking about. Do they honestly think this is attractive? Do they think a girl will see them and go you know what my entire life I have always wanted an old man trucker with the cord that holds up there sunglasses, and there he is the man of my dreams. The answer is NO, guys its not cute I promise you, change the standard "frat guy clothing" PLEASE!

Foam swords- OK so I don't know if anyone sees this at there school or not, but let me explain. I was walking to the Union when on the Union lawn I see about 6 or 7 people dressed in medieval garments with foam medieval swords. Apparently a war broke out on the Union lawn, and God thought it would benefit me in some way to see this. So I stop to watch, I mean how could you not, so these so called "warriors" we taking this fight seriously. They had a language of there own to signal their teammates to attack, and when someone was stabbed they would moan and fall slowly to the ground, and someone would kneel by their side, put a hand on their chest and lower their head, as if they were saying goodbyes. Then they would explode up in rage to avenge their fallen friend. This went on forever it seemed like, once everyone was fallen, they would get up and re-start. At first I thought wow what losers who does this and is serious about it I would never in my life play a game like that, but they asked me, " hey you wanna play" a thought rolled through my head,YES! But I didn't, just in case the love of my life walked by, I didn't want him seeing me play such a dork game! But Go Foam Sword Fighters, ( I secretly want to be you!)

Obsession- So as you all may know Morgan has the most random obsessions, and well so do I. My obsession is teeth, weird, I know. Well every time I meet someone knew, before I ask for a name, or anything, I eyes automatically focus in on their teeth. It is something that I cannot help, trust me. And the worst part of all the first thing out of my mouth is, Uh I like you teeth, then they always look at me awkwardly and say um thanks random chick that I just met. It so sucks trust me because every time this stupid sentence runs out of my mouth like vomit I am always labeled as the teeth loving girl. Like once a cute guy I met had the most amazing teeth, they were perfect, of course my word vomit happens, and I am humiliated, he then introduces me to one of his friends, he says "hey man this is Skylar, she um loves my teeth?" OMG really why do these things happen to me? This is probably why I am still single. Uh stupid word vomit I curse you!

Sorority Girls- OK let me first start out by saying, I am not hating on the sorority girls, I have plenty of friends are are one, my problem is with their outfit of choice. So lets get started, A typical outfit of a sorority girl is the leggings, with boat shoes, a size XXXXL t-shirt, and a hat that has no purpose what-so-ever. So first the leggings girls its just weird leggings were never intended to be the pants in any outfit, wear them with shorts, a skirt, or dress, and sometimes just in the comfort of your own home, but never ever ever wear them as the sole coverage for your bottom half. Maybe your asking why, well that is simple there is one answer, Camel Toe! its is so gross you must know when it is hot and humid outside and you have been walking around campus, the stretch material of the leggings will ride into in crease of your body. And that is what creates the Camel Toe girls, so don't do it please for the sake of everyone else's eyes just don't do it. Also the shirt, why so big? Is it to make your body seem 3 times the size it really is? Its not flattering. What happened to making yourself seem presentable. Had that just gone out the window.?

Remember these are only my opinions, I dont hate the people who make these choices, I just call them out, I speak my mind no matter what and you will see that with the other posts later on! Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this alot more than last time.

With love and creepiness, Skylar

Hello. Is that a sweater you're wearing??

Before I get started on this post, I'm going to cover a little housekeeping slash things I want to say. First of all, there have been only three posts and already I've been surprised by some consequences. One in particular: C was NOT pleased with the information shared here. I was taken aback when I awoke to one of my worst fears: a text saying he found my blog. Luckily, it was just this one. But it led to something good- closure. Blah blah blah, happiness and civility isn't funny, so I'll stop there. BUT I will say that I feel so legit to have an ex read my blog and then text me. It might have been a life goal of mine. Also, I'm kind of unsure how I feel about the fact that I was called "weird" for my date rape comments. I'm a creep and if you dated me for a year, you should probably know that. But that's another story...

AND now for the point of this blog: I laugh at really inappropriate times. Its a problem in my life that I'm learning accept. I've been scolded for it, and I've been encouraged. So obviously I'm torn. Should I even make an effort to stop? I'll give you some example of times this has happened and let you decide.

--Possibly the worst of the scenarios (and it was absolutely my fault): I might have made a That's what she said... joke during Bible study the other day. By the other day, I mean at a Christian retreat. One third of the girls laughed; one third of them openly expressed their disapproval; and one third of them had no idea how to react. It didn't help that this was in regards to the Bible study leader quoting Jesus. Maybe I have a sense of humor and some of them don't. I don't know, I unintentionally give people reasons to find me socially inept.

--Another one of those reasons is that I'll laugh a lot when no one else is laughing. I'm mainly talking about the time I was reading this post from my favorite blog, and laughed openly in my deformable bodies class. Was this the same class that is aware I collect gnomes? Absolutely. Of course. And then later that day, in another class, I was texting Skylar ABOUT the post and then proceeded to laugh again out loud. This time I was in class with my Autistic professor. I laugh at his jokes, or what I think are jokes, a lot when no one else does. Hopefully that counts for something, especially since the end of the semester is near. Unless they aren't in fact jokes- that could make things go a different direction for me.

--I'm exceptionally tired, thanks to one of my favorite things in this world: Nyquil. So this is about to turn into a compilation of random thoughts. Hopes that's okay. How do you feel about guys in sweaters? I'm a huge fan. There's something about men wearing sweaters slash cardigans slash anything of that nature that makes me envision them in a library with cats resting on the bookshelves. I like that picture. But once I'm picturing that, I'm picturing the library scene in Atonement, which makes me like the concept of men in sweaters even more. It just really seems like a win-win situation.

--This might be the weirdest, creepiest thing I'll ever post. I would ask to not be judged, but after I got the whole you made comments about date raping your neighbor and also made inappropriate comments about Brittney's neighbor and that makes you weird text, I'm not even going to worry about it. I have the strangest attraction to man that works in my building. I see him a lot when I leave to go to class in the mornings and he always looks so sad. Something about how sad he looks makes me want to cook him dinner, among other things. If nothing else, at least I'm honest with you guys. And I won't lie, knowing the C has read this makes it a little harder to be. I have a light that needs fixing, I'm just saying...

--Listen, that's really all I've got for you today. In summary, I laugh at inappropriate times, am a creep, and like guys in sweaters. I carry around a notebook around with me everywhere; I jot down little ideas to write about later. I swear my lack of creativity is due to the Nyquil, so here are some previews of things I HAVE to tell you about: I really, really hate a classmate of mine; I'm emotionally unstable and cry for really ridiculous reasons.

Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan

My name is Morgan, and I'm a creep.

I definitely feel like anyone reading these needs a little background info first. I feel like situations I'll talk about would be more appreciated after a little prefacing. Skylar and I went to the same high school, and a small one at that. When I say small, I don't mean a few thousand people total small. I mean the kind of small only Asians can really understand. Personally, I don't think my creepiness or awkwardness really began until after high school. I feel Skylar would agree. This might because being in a small, rural town doesn't really provide opportunities for normal interactions with people, let alone ones that make you feel like an awkward creep. Anyyyway, once I was in college I knew that I did not have the social skills of my peers. The first year was okay, mostly because I was engulfed in a year long relationship that will be mentioned often, probably bitterly. But this year, my second year, has really really proved to me that there's not a lot of hope for normal social interactions with me. Someone is always left feeling reallllll uncomfortable. And a few people love me because, or maybe in spite, of this. You don't believe me? I can cite a few incidents.

--A few days ago I had a dream about one of my residents (I'm a RA). The dream essentially was about how attractive he is and our forbidden love. It would never work in real life because he's an athlete, but a girl can dream- literally. He called the on call phone really late one night and I couldn't handle the situation properly without being so uncomfortable- all I could think about was my dream. I know he isn't aware that I had a dream about me supporting him financially in return for his love and attention, but that was seriously all I could think about. So I'm left feeling so uncomfortable around him because I'm a creep. I laugh nervously when his girlfriend makes comments about me being such a good neighbor, when in any situation that involved me NOT being his RA, I would have already date raped him.

--The first day of my first class this semester; deformable bodies, ahh engineering. I didn't really know anyone in my class, a few acquaintances. Of course, my Asian professor wanted to know fun facts about us all. Since I attend a relatively small private university, and am majoring in Mechanical Engineering, my classes are typically pretty small. There were about twenty people in my class and we all turned in a paper with our names and one 'fun' fact about ourselves. Let me just say that I hate being forced to come up with 'fun' facts. What if you are an exceptionally bland person that hasn't been playing the cello for ten years?? What if you haven't lived in seven countries?? It took me forever to figure out my fun fact. But now that I've got it, I cling to it like my seven Asian professors probably cling to their white rice. Anyyyway, the professor starts looking through the pages. When he gets to mine, he puts all of them down and holds mine up. First of all, I have awful man hand writing. Way to throw me under the bus. So he gets confused when he reads mine and decides to ask the class while passing around my oh so fun fact who Morgan is and what gnomes are. Yes, I collect gnomes. Someone asked if those were the the things with colored hair. No. No. No. How do these people not know the difference between a garden gnome and a troll??

Anyway, every one was silent and all I could muster up to say was "Well, this is uncomfortable." And before the professor went back to the plan for the day, he made sure to say point out that was a really creepy thing to collect. Thank you. So much. Afterwards someone may have approached me to ask about them. And by may have I mean definitely did. And to exhibit the fact that I have not an ounce of social skills once more, I started rambling about how my residents think I'm sooooo weird. Which they do. But that's another post for another day. The point you should be getting from that last tidbit is that if a person of the opposite sex that is even mildly attractive (according to my standards, which are strange from what essentially everyone on the planet tells me... which is a-whole-nother post for a-whole-nother day...) I WILL absolutely embarrass myself.

--Which, by coincidence, is a perfect lead in to another tale of my awkward slash creepy behavior. I hate holidays, nay occasions that are supposed to be celebrated by drinking excessively and hooking up with someone. This might be because I don't (typically) do either of those things (at least I'm honest...), but nevertheless... My best friend was living with her boyfriend at the time in an apartment building close enough to my place (and work) for me to be there often. I spent New Year's Eve there at a little get together. I'm not downplaying the situation, it really was a small get together. Probably because her boyfriend was a raging alcoholic and an absolute dick. I had gotten out of, or better put- been let out of, what I would consider a serious relationship a few months prior. Let's refer to him as C hereafter- because I do bitterly reference things more than I should. Anyyyyway, things between us were still in limbo. And by still in limbo, I mean that he still lived with me essentially and I was still acting the definition of pathetic. Obviously, I was okay with finding a rebound because C had already been through the girl he found while we were together AND a club whore at that point. Luckily for me, my best friend had a neighbor that was also a single AND functioning alcoholic. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES, RIGHT?!?! And I won't even lie, I welcomed some attention. Maybe a little too eagerly, but nevertheless... Long story short, or not, he invited me over to his place to "get away from the party". All I need to hear was "I have a puppy AND I want to make out with you," and I was obviously there. But no, the universe does not work that way. Not for me. I was always destined for incredible awkwardness. So after some very nice sweet talk and a walk to his apartment, I proceeded to puke. I had consumed absolutely NO alcohol, I promise you. I just get stressed way too easily. When I get nervous or laugh too hard, I really will hurl. Its happened more than a few times. Somewhere between the "I want to make out with you" and the eight missed calls I ignored from C telling me to "Let him sleep at my place, again. Because THAT is what good friends do", my body said "Effff you Morgan. You will have no rebound. Because you will puke outside the Brittney's neighbor's door." I. AM. NOT. KIDDING. That's when I started to cry/laugh hysterically. And run to my car. Literally. I turned around and ran to my car. That's my life.

When things like that happen, I immediately call/text/send pictures to Skylar. She gets it, she really does. And that's why we made this blog- to document these situations.

Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan