Instead of talking about me being awkward, today I have awkward observations.

Today I have a clear outline of my venting topics. A few nights ago I hung out with a good friend from high school, and I feel that the reminiscing should be shared. You're welcome. :)

Okay, the first thing doesn't have anything to do with my high school, or anyone from there. But it's pretty relevant because I know a single person in my life that does this. Let me premise this with the fact that I saw a CSI episode about this once, and I absolutely didn't believe that people actually did this. That is, until I was being a creep on facebook and saw pictures of an acquaintance dressed up as an animal. I can only assume that he rubs on other people dressed as animals for sexual pleasure, because that's what CSI says. I genuinely wanted to know how this gets started, so my friend and I did some internet research. We didn't find anything we were looking for, BUT we did find something disturbing enough to distract us from the mission: if you're a minor, your parents have to escort you to these "festivals". I can just imagine this conversation happening:

"Hey, Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you two. Would one of you mind accompanying me to a convention where I'll dress up as an animal and rub up on other people dressed as animals to fulfill my sexual desires? K, thanks for accepting my lifestyle choice!"

There are just so many things about this I don't understand. Like the costume cleaning process. I'm assuming that has to be dry cleaned. I guess you could say you do this for kids birthdays or something. Or you could be ambitious and say you were doing a commercial or something in it. But I just don't see how anyone would be comfortable going into a dry cleaners with an adult sized animal costume and saying, "Yeah, I got a little excited at my convention and really need this dry cleaned. How long will it take, because I have a date in it soon?"

I'm just getting more and more confused about this....

Ok. I've retyped this paragraph about seven times because I'm trying to handle it sensitively. Anyone that knows me knows that is not something I do well. I mean, I might have made one of my best friends cry because I told her she was naive and I'm just absolutely not able to handle friendship topics sensitively. I think a friend of mine in high school had an imaginary girlfriend. There, I said it. We all said it to each other, and now it's out in the open. When I say that I think he had an imaginary girlfriend, I mean that he talked about his girlfriend like she was real and told everyone she was an actual person, but I just don't think that was the case. Even though "she" lived a few towns away, no one ever met her. Not even his best friend. He would show us naked pictures of her, but they never included a face. And the hair color was never the same in two photos. Neither was the skin tone. I feel like that's a compelling enough argument to settle this. I mean, it's been like three years since this happened, so the details are fresh on my mind. But maybe, maybe it was someone messing with him. Like he thought she was a real person, but really it was someone just sending random nude pics of the internet. Oh, it's coming back to me. I legitimately think that we were pretty convinced that it was two girls making our friend think that this other one was real. Like I said, three years ago is a little foggy, but I'm sticking with my original claim that the girlfriend was imaginary. This is one of my favorite high school memories. Obviously, high wasn't spectacular for me...

Quick subject change- an Asian family visited my apartment a few months ago. They knocked on my door and asked if they could show their son the apartment. I was wary at first, but then they explained their journey in adorable broken English. Turns out, the had lived in my apartment while getting their Master's here twenty years ago and conceived a child. Nine months later, they delivered said child on my bed. So they wanted to come and show their son where he was born. My bed. I'm not thrilled that this happened, but, I mean, cool story, right? They didn't stay long, but in the short time they were here, it was so clear that the boy was uncomfortable. It's like his eyes were saying, "Sorry that you now know that an Asian baby was born where you sleep." So yeah, fun fact about my apartment. I totally understand if any of my friends that read this never want to come over again. I also totally understand if my friends that read this do want to come over.

And that's all I have today. I'm pretty grumpy, so I'm really not going to try to dig any deeper than what I had previously saved in my phone as "Ideas for Sky-Vans".

Morgan