I get sick a lot. Not only the whole I get nervous and hurl thing, but literally ill because I have the immune system of a fetus. Because of this, my mother always tries preventative measures to keep me from getting sick. One phase she went through was making me take liquid silver. I had no idea that this was something you could buy for funsies. Skylar really enjoyed this- she'd be at my house and anytime I'd cough or sneeze or sniffle, my mom would get the liquid silver out. I feel like you should know that it tastes AWFUL. I'm a huge wuss, so I would throw a fit every single time. I HATE liquid silver. Luckily, its been a few years since my mom was on her silver spree.
Around the same time I was being forced to take what I consider to be dangerous amounts of the silver, Skylar saw a special on some man that drank too much of it and turned purple. After this special, Skylar found out that if you eat an insane amount of carrots, your body will turn orange. Whether this is accurate or not is debatable, but I saw an episode of House where it happened, which is absolutely good enough for me. When Skylar comes home for the summer, we plan for her to come stay with me for a week and just eat carrots. I already refuse to wear orange, so I'm definitely not going to turn my skin that color. Maybe because there was a spray-tanning incident my sophomore year of high school that perpetually scarred me. A high school professor still won't let me live it down. Long story short- my red hair mixed with orange skin is just really unflattering. Luckily, I have a friend that's down for whatever who is willing to accompany Skylar on this adventure. Don't worry, I'll document it all.
And in a topic related to the post about me being exceptionally emotional, I'm cutting this post short to go to my last Bible study of the semester, which is the last small group with my mentor and surrogate big. I'm very prepared to cry. A lot.
Please bear with me during finals; it is hectic.
Morgan
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Night at the Greek Theatre
Alright so I guess that Morgan isn't the only creepy friend that I have, last night I found myself being creeped on. So me and my friend Kayla went tanning yesterday, we always walk because well it isn't very far. On our way back it was getting dark and it was such a pretty night, so we decided to walk around campus for awhile. We ended up laying down in the lawn across from our Greek Theatre, we were just talking when we decided to call our friend Garrett, he seemed to be kinda mad at us so we thought it would be a good idea to hang out and clear the air. So we called and put him on speaker phone, we asked him to come but he was being really shady, he kept studdering and not making alot of sense. We asked him what he was doing and he said um I'm at my car I'm gunna make pancakes. Pancakes Garrett?? Its 9 o clock at night. We then started to make him feel uncomfortable by telling him things like wrap it before you tap it, and no glove no love. We figured "making pancakes" was code for sexing. lol. And well we like to make Garrett feel awkward. So we just decided fine don't come at least bring us some pancakes. Well we were about to get off the phone when we hear someone calling our names and it was loud, we look over and we see Garrett sitting outside his window with a bullhorn somehow still driving yelling our names. It was so great, we ran over (shoeless) and jump on his car, holding up traffic, but hey we didn't care. That is what a true creep of a friend is.
Well Garrett had to go, he was really making pancakes, go figure, well he let us have his bullhorn, that the wrong thing to do. Kayla and I went back to lawn and sat where no one could see us, and we started yelling very weird things to people. One guy was on his phone and we yelled hey get off the phone or I'm making a citizens arrest, aw poor guy looked around so creeped out because it was 10 at night and pitch black, funny thing is he really got off the phone. I love making people do things. Next a guy on a bike delivering Jimmy Johns was peddling his bike so fast we yelled Go Jimmy Johns man, he looked back almost lost control, but no worries that Jimmy Johns man is a pro.
So that whole day me and Kayle were upset because we don't have boyfriends, nor do we have guys interested in us. Well last night we realized, WOW this has to be the reason guys don't like us, we yell at random people, we talk in English accents, I always speak like a robot because it sounds like I'm speaking French, and I will always yell at Kayla in public at random times (these stories will come at a later date) what guy wants to be around that.? Well this is how I am, and if a guy doesn't like that then o well, one day someone will love me, with all my faults and all.
Well thats all I have for today, thanks for reading!
With love and creepiness, Skylar
Well Garrett had to go, he was really making pancakes, go figure, well he let us have his bullhorn, that the wrong thing to do. Kayla and I went back to lawn and sat where no one could see us, and we started yelling very weird things to people. One guy was on his phone and we yelled hey get off the phone or I'm making a citizens arrest, aw poor guy looked around so creeped out because it was 10 at night and pitch black, funny thing is he really got off the phone. I love making people do things. Next a guy on a bike delivering Jimmy Johns was peddling his bike so fast we yelled Go Jimmy Johns man, he looked back almost lost control, but no worries that Jimmy Johns man is a pro.
So that whole day me and Kayle were upset because we don't have boyfriends, nor do we have guys interested in us. Well last night we realized, WOW this has to be the reason guys don't like us, we yell at random people, we talk in English accents, I always speak like a robot because it sounds like I'm speaking French, and I will always yell at Kayla in public at random times (these stories will come at a later date) what guy wants to be around that.? Well this is how I am, and if a guy doesn't like that then o well, one day someone will love me, with all my faults and all.
Well thats all I have for today, thanks for reading!
With love and creepiness, Skylar
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My name is Morgan, and I'm abnormally emotional
First of all, I'm sorry for the lack of post Friday. There are two and a half weeks of classes left, so you can understand that its a little stressful at the moment. And by a little, I mean it in the way that when you say that you murdered someone... a little, is no different from murdering someone... a lot. And in case that analogy didn't do anything for you, then I'll just lay it out for you: it's a really stressful time of year. Luckily for you, when I get stressed, I get uncomfortable. More so than normal. I also make more aggressive comments than I normally do.
Which brings me to this: I'm abnormally emotional. It isn't because I'm stressed; I'm always this way. I used to think that I just would get upset because my relationship with C turned unhealthy and all that mess. But now that we don't speak, it is absolutely clear that had nothing to do with it. When I say I'm abnormally emotional I don't just mean that if you say something mean to me, like "If you were more physically attractive, you'd have another boyfriend already," I'll cry and hold a grudge. Which, by the way is a true story. But anyway, I have a heightened sense of apathy. For example, I really love my mom. I'm a sweetheart, I know... But is it normal to cry while watching TV shows when something sad happens, like someone's mom dies?? I seriously doubt it. If anything sad happens that I can even relatively related to, it seriously starts the waterworks. This hinders my ability to go out to the movies with people, watch programs in a classroom setting, and lots of other normal activities.
Another way I exhibit my lack of emotional stability is the fact that I cannot think of one small group over the past two years in which I didn't start crying. I've been with the same Bible study slash small group for both years of college, and no matter what we're talking about, I can't help but get emotional. Even if I'm not upset. We can be talking about our future goals, and then out of nowhere- there I am crying again. Ridiculous. I wish one of those girls would man up and kick me in my throat next time that happens. Which I assuming will be Thursday at 5:30pm, like every week. AND it just so happens that this is our last Bible study together. Our leader is moving to Detroit to be a teacher for TFA and I'm kind of pissed that she's leaving, but really excited. I've already started calling her by her last name and planning classroom surprises to get her.
The incident that made me realize I had this emotional problem is the most pathetic of them all. I was on the phone with my mom, telling her about how I really wanted to get a TiVo for when I move. My mom is pretty aggressive, so she obviously told me no and shut it down real fast. I proceeded to cry. On my way to class. To the point where I didn't go to class because I was so upset. I should clarify, I wasn't upset about not getting the TiVo. I'm not that spoiled. I was upset by how she approached viciously turning me down. Her reaction was to tell me she's worried about my social skills. She "doesn't want me to become a hermit." First of all, how does getting a TiVo make me a hermit?? I wanted a TiVo because I'm always in meetings or busy and can't watch my favorite shows. Secondly, if you know me, you know I'm fine with becoming a hermit. A few life outcomes I'm perfectly okay with are as follows: a hermit with thirty cats and a library, a politician's wife, a more scientifically apt version of my high school English teacher, an awkward mechanical engineer. HOW DOES MY MOM NOT KNOW THAT I'M OKAY WITH BEING A HERMIT???? This upset me even more and she proceeded to suggest seeing a therapist. Not. Even. Kidding.
It didn't help my mom's image of me when I called her at 1am Friday night crying, either. Literally as soon as she answered, I started crying hysterically. It was also pouring down rain, so I opted to calm down, drive home, and call her back. As I get back to my apartment soaking wet, I call her back and tell her all about how I had an awful time at formal. Which is very true. And that's the reason I was crying. I hadn't originally wanted to go to formal and was there only by some coercing from a few friends. Friends that ended up spending the entire night with their dates, but whatever. I'm a wuss and couldn't control my emotions. I ended up telling my mom that I hate formals and I'm never going again, unless I have a particular date or am on exec. I can't dance and definitely didn't have a date, so the entire night was uncomfortable for me. One guy told me to come dance and somehow the conversation ended up with him telling me he feels he can be rude to me because he "has faith I can handle it". Direct quote. Obviously, this did NOT make my mother any more confident in my social skills and once again she suggested therapy. This time she added, "Maybe some medication would balance you out." Thanks, Mom.
And on a semi-related topic, I watched a 3 hour PBS special about Wuthering Heights on Netflix Instant Watch the other day. And cried the entire time. I am being so serious. Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite books of all times and I have no shame in admitting that I cried until three am watching a movie about it. It is a really weird story- with the necrophilia and incest and all, and it makes me feel differently after watching/reading it every time. I just thought I should share that with you. You should obviously watch it.
Anyway. I'm abnormally emotional and it isn't even cool. This makes me sound extra ridiculous, and I swear I'm not. It just happens and I get over it and that's that. It doesn't affect my friendships, at least I don't think it does. For the next post, I'll try to not sound so pathetic. Because I'm totally not.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
Which brings me to this: I'm abnormally emotional. It isn't because I'm stressed; I'm always this way. I used to think that I just would get upset because my relationship with C turned unhealthy and all that mess. But now that we don't speak, it is absolutely clear that had nothing to do with it. When I say I'm abnormally emotional I don't just mean that if you say something mean to me, like "If you were more physically attractive, you'd have another boyfriend already," I'll cry and hold a grudge. Which, by the way is a true story. But anyway, I have a heightened sense of apathy. For example, I really love my mom. I'm a sweetheart, I know... But is it normal to cry while watching TV shows when something sad happens, like someone's mom dies?? I seriously doubt it. If anything sad happens that I can even relatively related to, it seriously starts the waterworks. This hinders my ability to go out to the movies with people, watch programs in a classroom setting, and lots of other normal activities.
Another way I exhibit my lack of emotional stability is the fact that I cannot think of one small group over the past two years in which I didn't start crying. I've been with the same Bible study slash small group for both years of college, and no matter what we're talking about, I can't help but get emotional. Even if I'm not upset. We can be talking about our future goals, and then out of nowhere- there I am crying again. Ridiculous. I wish one of those girls would man up and kick me in my throat next time that happens. Which I assuming will be Thursday at 5:30pm, like every week. AND it just so happens that this is our last Bible study together. Our leader is moving to Detroit to be a teacher for TFA and I'm kind of pissed that she's leaving, but really excited. I've already started calling her by her last name and planning classroom surprises to get her.
The incident that made me realize I had this emotional problem is the most pathetic of them all. I was on the phone with my mom, telling her about how I really wanted to get a TiVo for when I move. My mom is pretty aggressive, so she obviously told me no and shut it down real fast. I proceeded to cry. On my way to class. To the point where I didn't go to class because I was so upset. I should clarify, I wasn't upset about not getting the TiVo. I'm not that spoiled. I was upset by how she approached viciously turning me down. Her reaction was to tell me she's worried about my social skills. She "doesn't want me to become a hermit." First of all, how does getting a TiVo make me a hermit?? I wanted a TiVo because I'm always in meetings or busy and can't watch my favorite shows. Secondly, if you know me, you know I'm fine with becoming a hermit. A few life outcomes I'm perfectly okay with are as follows: a hermit with thirty cats and a library, a politician's wife, a more scientifically apt version of my high school English teacher, an awkward mechanical engineer. HOW DOES MY MOM NOT KNOW THAT I'M OKAY WITH BEING A HERMIT???? This upset me even more and she proceeded to suggest seeing a therapist. Not. Even. Kidding.
It didn't help my mom's image of me when I called her at 1am Friday night crying, either. Literally as soon as she answered, I started crying hysterically. It was also pouring down rain, so I opted to calm down, drive home, and call her back. As I get back to my apartment soaking wet, I call her back and tell her all about how I had an awful time at formal. Which is very true. And that's the reason I was crying. I hadn't originally wanted to go to formal and was there only by some coercing from a few friends. Friends that ended up spending the entire night with their dates, but whatever. I'm a wuss and couldn't control my emotions. I ended up telling my mom that I hate formals and I'm never going again, unless I have a particular date or am on exec. I can't dance and definitely didn't have a date, so the entire night was uncomfortable for me. One guy told me to come dance and somehow the conversation ended up with him telling me he feels he can be rude to me because he "has faith I can handle it". Direct quote. Obviously, this did NOT make my mother any more confident in my social skills and once again she suggested therapy. This time she added, "Maybe some medication would balance you out." Thanks, Mom.
And on a semi-related topic, I watched a 3 hour PBS special about Wuthering Heights on Netflix Instant Watch the other day. And cried the entire time. I am being so serious. Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite books of all times and I have no shame in admitting that I cried until three am watching a movie about it. It is a really weird story- with the necrophilia and incest and all, and it makes me feel differently after watching/reading it every time. I just thought I should share that with you. You should obviously watch it.
Anyway. I'm abnormally emotional and it isn't even cool. This makes me sound extra ridiculous, and I swear I'm not. It just happens and I get over it and that's that. It doesn't affect my friendships, at least I don't think it does. For the next post, I'll try to not sound so pathetic. Because I'm totally not.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
Monday, April 26, 2010
Its Random time!
OK Well hello to everyone again. So last week on my only blog I got some really bad feedback, and I must say it kinda hurt my feelings. I want everyone to know this is my first blog ever, Morgan has had another blog for about a year. So she knows the proper way to do things. So I am sorry no one liked what I had to say. But in a way I kinda agree, I am not a story teller, and crazy, embarrassing things don't happen to me the way they happen to Morgan. I am the girl that sees people being dumb, and I am the girl that makes fun of them. I like to make people laugh, not have people laugh at the things I do. So me and Morgan have come up with a new idea, Morgan will have the stories of her odd but wonderful life, and each post I put up will consist of different topics where I will state my opinion, good or bad. I hope that this is much better for the haters out there. You guys only make me more focused and determined to be great. So thanks, no hard feelings? So lets get things started shall we?
Frat guys- Here's my take on Frat guys, who in the world told them in order to be in the "Brother hood" you must dress half old man half dirty trucker? What is with the shorts that come three inches above the knee with penny loafers, and that is just the bottom. The top has the gross over sized t-shirt with probably something about beer and women, and a bright-colored trucker hat, put on backwards, with a bit of their hair sticking out of the front. I hope everyone knows what I am talking about, if you don't hit up a college campus I promise you will see what I am talking about. Do they honestly think this is attractive? Do they think a girl will see them and go you know what my entire life I have always wanted an old man trucker with the cord that holds up there sunglasses, and there he is the man of my dreams. The answer is NO, guys its not cute I promise you, change the standard "frat guy clothing" PLEASE!
Foam swords- OK so I don't know if anyone sees this at there school or not, but let me explain. I was walking to the Union when on the Union lawn I see about 6 or 7 people dressed in medieval garments with foam medieval swords. Apparently a war broke out on the Union lawn, and God thought it would benefit me in some way to see this. So I stop to watch, I mean how could you not, so these so called "warriors" we taking this fight seriously. They had a language of there own to signal their teammates to attack, and when someone was stabbed they would moan and fall slowly to the ground, and someone would kneel by their side, put a hand on their chest and lower their head, as if they were saying goodbyes. Then they would explode up in rage to avenge their fallen friend. This went on forever it seemed like, once everyone was fallen, they would get up and re-start. At first I thought wow what losers who does this and is serious about it I would never in my life play a game like that, but they asked me, " hey you wanna play" a thought rolled through my head,YES! But I didn't, just in case the love of my life walked by, I didn't want him seeing me play such a dork game! But Go Foam Sword Fighters, ( I secretly want to be you!)
Obsession- So as you all may know Morgan has the most random obsessions, and well so do I. My obsession is teeth, weird, I know. Well every time I meet someone knew, before I ask for a name, or anything, I eyes automatically focus in on their teeth. It is something that I cannot help, trust me. And the worst part of all the first thing out of my mouth is, Uh I like you teeth, then they always look at me awkwardly and say um thanks random chick that I just met. It so sucks trust me because every time this stupid sentence runs out of my mouth like vomit I am always labeled as the teeth loving girl. Like once a cute guy I met had the most amazing teeth, they were perfect, of course my word vomit happens, and I am humiliated, he then introduces me to one of his friends, he says "hey man this is Skylar, she um loves my teeth?" OMG really why do these things happen to me? This is probably why I am still single. Uh stupid word vomit I curse you!
Frat guys- Here's my take on Frat guys, who in the world told them in order to be in the "Brother hood" you must dress half old man half dirty trucker? What is with the shorts that come three inches above the knee with penny loafers, and that is just the bottom. The top has the gross over sized t-shirt with probably something about beer and women, and a bright-colored trucker hat, put on backwards, with a bit of their hair sticking out of the front. I hope everyone knows what I am talking about, if you don't hit up a college campus I promise you will see what I am talking about. Do they honestly think this is attractive? Do they think a girl will see them and go you know what my entire life I have always wanted an old man trucker with the cord that holds up there sunglasses, and there he is the man of my dreams. The answer is NO, guys its not cute I promise you, change the standard "frat guy clothing" PLEASE!
Foam swords- OK so I don't know if anyone sees this at there school or not, but let me explain. I was walking to the Union when on the Union lawn I see about 6 or 7 people dressed in medieval garments with foam medieval swords. Apparently a war broke out on the Union lawn, and God thought it would benefit me in some way to see this. So I stop to watch, I mean how could you not, so these so called "warriors" we taking this fight seriously. They had a language of there own to signal their teammates to attack, and when someone was stabbed they would moan and fall slowly to the ground, and someone would kneel by their side, put a hand on their chest and lower their head, as if they were saying goodbyes. Then they would explode up in rage to avenge their fallen friend. This went on forever it seemed like, once everyone was fallen, they would get up and re-start. At first I thought wow what losers who does this and is serious about it I would never in my life play a game like that, but they asked me, " hey you wanna play" a thought rolled through my head,YES! But I didn't, just in case the love of my life walked by, I didn't want him seeing me play such a dork game! But Go Foam Sword Fighters, ( I secretly want to be you!)
Obsession- So as you all may know Morgan has the most random obsessions, and well so do I. My obsession is teeth, weird, I know. Well every time I meet someone knew, before I ask for a name, or anything, I eyes automatically focus in on their teeth. It is something that I cannot help, trust me. And the worst part of all the first thing out of my mouth is, Uh I like you teeth, then they always look at me awkwardly and say um thanks random chick that I just met. It so sucks trust me because every time this stupid sentence runs out of my mouth like vomit I am always labeled as the teeth loving girl. Like once a cute guy I met had the most amazing teeth, they were perfect, of course my word vomit happens, and I am humiliated, he then introduces me to one of his friends, he says "hey man this is Skylar, she um loves my teeth?" OMG really why do these things happen to me? This is probably why I am still single. Uh stupid word vomit I curse you!
Sorority Girls- OK let me first start out by saying, I am not hating on the sorority girls, I have plenty of friends are are one, my problem is with their outfit of choice. So lets get started, A typical outfit of a sorority girl is the leggings, with boat shoes, a size XXXXL t-shirt, and a hat that has no purpose what-so-ever. So first the leggings girls its just weird leggings were never intended to be the pants in any outfit, wear them with shorts, a skirt, or dress, and sometimes just in the comfort of your own home, but never ever ever wear them as the sole coverage for your bottom half. Maybe your asking why, well that is simple there is one answer, Camel Toe! its is so gross you must know when it is hot and humid outside and you have been walking around campus, the stretch material of the leggings will ride into in crease of your body. And that is what creates the Camel Toe girls, so don't do it please for the sake of everyone else's eyes just don't do it. Also the shirt, why so big? Is it to make your body seem 3 times the size it really is? Its not flattering. What happened to making yourself seem presentable. Had that just gone out the window.?
Remember these are only my opinions, I dont hate the people who make these choices, I just call them out, I speak my mind no matter what and you will see that with the other posts later on! Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this alot more than last time.
With love and creepiness, Skylar
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Hello. Is that a sweater you're wearing??
Before I get started on this post, I'm going to cover a little housekeeping slash things I want to say. First of all, there have been only three posts and already I've been surprised by some consequences. One in particular: C was NOT pleased with the information shared here. I was taken aback when I awoke to one of my worst fears: a text saying he found my blog. Luckily, it was just this one. But it led to something good- closure. Blah blah blah, happiness and civility isn't funny, so I'll stop there. BUT I will say that I feel so legit to have an ex read my blog and then text me. It might have been a life goal of mine. Also, I'm kind of unsure how I feel about the fact that I was called "weird" for my date rape comments. I'm a creep and if you dated me for a year, you should probably know that. But that's another story...
AND now for the point of this blog: I laugh at really inappropriate times. Its a problem in my life that I'm learning accept. I've been scolded for it, and I've been encouraged. So obviously I'm torn. Should I even make an effort to stop? I'll give you some example of times this has happened and let you decide.
--Possibly the worst of the scenarios (and it was absolutely my fault): I might have made a That's what she said... joke during Bible study the other day. By the other day, I mean at a Christian retreat. One third of the girls laughed; one third of them openly expressed their disapproval; and one third of them had no idea how to react. It didn't help that this was in regards to the Bible study leader quoting Jesus. Maybe I have a sense of humor and some of them don't. I don't know, I unintentionally give people reasons to find me socially inept.
--Another one of those reasons is that I'll laugh a lot when no one else is laughing. I'm mainly talking about the time I was reading this post from my favorite blog, and laughed openly in my deformable bodies class. Was this the same class that is aware I collect gnomes? Absolutely. Of course. And then later that day, in another class, I was texting Skylar ABOUT the post and then proceeded to laugh again out loud. This time I was in class with my Autistic professor. I laugh at his jokes, or what I think are jokes, a lot when no one else does. Hopefully that counts for something, especially since the end of the semester is near. Unless they aren't in fact jokes- that could make things go a different direction for me.
--I'm exceptionally tired, thanks to one of my favorite things in this world: Nyquil. So this is about to turn into a compilation of random thoughts. Hopes that's okay. How do you feel about guys in sweaters? I'm a huge fan. There's something about men wearing sweaters slash cardigans slash anything of that nature that makes me envision them in a library with cats resting on the bookshelves. I like that picture. But once I'm picturing that, I'm picturing the library scene in Atonement, which makes me like the concept of men in sweaters even more. It just really seems like a win-win situation.
--This might be the weirdest, creepiest thing I'll ever post. I would ask to not be judged, but after I got the whole you made comments about date raping your neighbor and also made inappropriate comments about Brittney's neighbor and that makes you weird text, I'm not even going to worry about it. I have the strangest attraction to man that works in my building. I see him a lot when I leave to go to class in the mornings and he always looks so sad. Something about how sad he looks makes me want to cook him dinner, among other things. If nothing else, at least I'm honest with you guys. And I won't lie, knowing the C has read this makes it a little harder to be. I have a light that needs fixing, I'm just saying...
--Listen, that's really all I've got for you today. In summary, I laugh at inappropriate times, am a creep, and like guys in sweaters. I carry around a notebook around with me everywhere; I jot down little ideas to write about later. I swear my lack of creativity is due to the Nyquil, so here are some previews of things I HAVE to tell you about: I really, really hate a classmate of mine; I'm emotionally unstable and cry for really ridiculous reasons.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
AND now for the point of this blog: I laugh at really inappropriate times. Its a problem in my life that I'm learning accept. I've been scolded for it, and I've been encouraged. So obviously I'm torn. Should I even make an effort to stop? I'll give you some example of times this has happened and let you decide.
--Possibly the worst of the scenarios (and it was absolutely my fault): I might have made a That's what she said... joke during Bible study the other day. By the other day, I mean at a Christian retreat. One third of the girls laughed; one third of them openly expressed their disapproval; and one third of them had no idea how to react. It didn't help that this was in regards to the Bible study leader quoting Jesus. Maybe I have a sense of humor and some of them don't. I don't know, I unintentionally give people reasons to find me socially inept.
--Another one of those reasons is that I'll laugh a lot when no one else is laughing. I'm mainly talking about the time I was reading this post from my favorite blog, and laughed openly in my deformable bodies class. Was this the same class that is aware I collect gnomes? Absolutely. Of course. And then later that day, in another class, I was texting Skylar ABOUT the post and then proceeded to laugh again out loud. This time I was in class with my Autistic professor. I laugh at his jokes, or what I think are jokes, a lot when no one else does. Hopefully that counts for something, especially since the end of the semester is near. Unless they aren't in fact jokes- that could make things go a different direction for me.
--I'm exceptionally tired, thanks to one of my favorite things in this world: Nyquil. So this is about to turn into a compilation of random thoughts. Hopes that's okay. How do you feel about guys in sweaters? I'm a huge fan. There's something about men wearing sweaters slash cardigans slash anything of that nature that makes me envision them in a library with cats resting on the bookshelves. I like that picture. But once I'm picturing that, I'm picturing the library scene in Atonement, which makes me like the concept of men in sweaters even more. It just really seems like a win-win situation.
--This might be the weirdest, creepiest thing I'll ever post. I would ask to not be judged, but after I got the whole you made comments about date raping your neighbor and also made inappropriate comments about Brittney's neighbor and that makes you weird text, I'm not even going to worry about it. I have the strangest attraction to man that works in my building. I see him a lot when I leave to go to class in the mornings and he always looks so sad. Something about how sad he looks makes me want to cook him dinner, among other things. If nothing else, at least I'm honest with you guys. And I won't lie, knowing the C has read this makes it a little harder to be. I have a light that needs fixing, I'm just saying...
--Listen, that's really all I've got for you today. In summary, I laugh at inappropriate times, am a creep, and like guys in sweaters. I carry around a notebook around with me everywhere; I jot down little ideas to write about later. I swear my lack of creativity is due to the Nyquil, so here are some previews of things I HAVE to tell you about: I really, really hate a classmate of mine; I'm emotionally unstable and cry for really ridiculous reasons.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My name is Morgan, and I'm a creep.
I definitely feel like anyone reading these needs a little background info first. I feel like situations I'll talk about would be more appreciated after a little prefacing. Skylar and I went to the same high school, and a small one at that. When I say small, I don't mean a few thousand people total small. I mean the kind of small only Asians can really understand. Personally, I don't think my creepiness or awkwardness really began until after high school. I feel Skylar would agree. This might because being in a small, rural town doesn't really provide opportunities for normal interactions with people, let alone ones that make you feel like an awkward creep. Anyyyway, once I was in college I knew that I did not have the social skills of my peers. The first year was okay, mostly because I was engulfed in a year long relationship that will be mentioned often, probably bitterly. But this year, my second year, has really really proved to me that there's not a lot of hope for normal social interactions with me. Someone is always left feeling reallllll uncomfortable. And a few people love me because, or maybe in spite, of this. You don't believe me? I can cite a few incidents.
--A few days ago I had a dream about one of my residents (I'm a RA). The dream essentially was about how attractive he is and our forbidden love. It would never work in real life because he's an athlete, but a girl can dream- literally. He called the on call phone really late one night and I couldn't handle the situation properly without being so uncomfortable- all I could think about was my dream. I know he isn't aware that I had a dream about me supporting him financially in return for his love and attention, but that was seriously all I could think about. So I'm left feeling so uncomfortable around him because I'm a creep. I laugh nervously when his girlfriend makes comments about me being such a good neighbor, when in any situation that involved me NOT being his RA, I would have already date raped him.
--The first day of my first class this semester; deformable bodies, ahh engineering. I didn't really know anyone in my class, a few acquaintances. Of course, my Asian professor wanted to know fun facts about us all. Since I attend a relatively small private university, and am majoring in Mechanical Engineering, my classes are typically pretty small. There were about twenty people in my class and we all turned in a paper with our names and one 'fun' fact about ourselves. Let me just say that I hate being forced to come up with 'fun' facts. What if you are an exceptionally bland person that hasn't been playing the cello for ten years?? What if you haven't lived in seven countries?? It took me forever to figure out my fun fact. But now that I've got it, I cling to it like my seven Asian professors probably cling to their white rice. Anyyyway, the professor starts looking through the pages. When he gets to mine, he puts all of them down and holds mine up. First of all, I have awful man hand writing. Way to throw me under the bus. So he gets confused when he reads mine and decides to ask the class while passing around my oh so fun fact who Morgan is and what gnomes are. Yes, I collect gnomes. Someone asked if those were the the things with colored hair. No. No. No. How do these people not know the difference between a garden gnome and a troll??
Anyway, every one was silent and all I could muster up to say was "Well, this is uncomfortable." And before the professor went back to the plan for the day, he made sure to say point out that was a really creepy thing to collect. Thank you. So much. Afterwards someone may have approached me to ask about them. And by may have I mean definitely did. And to exhibit the fact that I have not an ounce of social skills once more, I started rambling about how my residents think I'm sooooo weird. Which they do. But that's another post for another day. The point you should be getting from that last tidbit is that if a person of the opposite sex that is even mildly attractive (according to my standards, which are strange from what essentially everyone on the planet tells me... which is a-whole-nother post for a-whole-nother day...) I WILL absolutely embarrass myself.
--Which, by coincidence, is a perfect lead in to another tale of my awkward slash creepy behavior. I hate holidays, nay occasions that are supposed to be celebrated by drinking excessively and hooking up with someone. This might be because I don't (typically) do either of those things (at least I'm honest...), but nevertheless... My best friend was living with her boyfriend at the time in an apartment building close enough to my place (and work) for me to be there often. I spent New Year's Eve there at a little get together. I'm not downplaying the situation, it really was a small get together. Probably because her boyfriend was a raging alcoholic and an absolute dick. I had gotten out of, or better put- been let out of, what I would consider a serious relationship a few months prior. Let's refer to him as C hereafter- because I do bitterly reference things more than I should. Anyyyyway, things between us were still in limbo. And by still in limbo, I mean that he still lived with me essentially and I was still acting the definition of pathetic. Obviously, I was okay with finding a rebound because C had already been through the girl he found while we were together AND a club whore at that point. Luckily for me, my best friend had a neighbor that was also a single AND functioning alcoholic. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES, RIGHT?!?! And I won't even lie, I welcomed some attention. Maybe a little too eagerly, but nevertheless... Long story short, or not, he invited me over to his place to "get away from the party". All I need to hear was "I have a puppy AND I want to make out with you," and I was obviously there. But no, the universe does not work that way. Not for me. I was always destined for incredible awkwardness. So after some very nice sweet talk and a walk to his apartment, I proceeded to puke. I had consumed absolutely NO alcohol, I promise you. I just get stressed way too easily. When I get nervous or laugh too hard, I really will hurl. Its happened more than a few times. Somewhere between the "I want to make out with you" and the eight missed calls I ignored from C telling me to "Let him sleep at my place, again. Because THAT is what good friends do", my body said "Effff you Morgan. You will have no rebound. Because you will puke outside the Brittney's neighbor's door." I. AM. NOT. KIDDING. That's when I started to cry/laugh hysterically. And run to my car. Literally. I turned around and ran to my car. That's my life.
When things like that happen, I immediately call/text/send pictures to Skylar. She gets it, she really does. And that's why we made this blog- to document these situations.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
--A few days ago I had a dream about one of my residents (I'm a RA). The dream essentially was about how attractive he is and our forbidden love. It would never work in real life because he's an athlete, but a girl can dream- literally. He called the on call phone really late one night and I couldn't handle the situation properly without being so uncomfortable- all I could think about was my dream. I know he isn't aware that I had a dream about me supporting him financially in return for his love and attention, but that was seriously all I could think about. So I'm left feeling so uncomfortable around him because I'm a creep. I laugh nervously when his girlfriend makes comments about me being such a good neighbor, when in any situation that involved me NOT being his RA, I would have already date raped him.
--The first day of my first class this semester; deformable bodies, ahh engineering. I didn't really know anyone in my class, a few acquaintances. Of course, my Asian professor wanted to know fun facts about us all. Since I attend a relatively small private university, and am majoring in Mechanical Engineering, my classes are typically pretty small. There were about twenty people in my class and we all turned in a paper with our names and one 'fun' fact about ourselves. Let me just say that I hate being forced to come up with 'fun' facts. What if you are an exceptionally bland person that hasn't been playing the cello for ten years?? What if you haven't lived in seven countries?? It took me forever to figure out my fun fact. But now that I've got it, I cling to it like my seven Asian professors probably cling to their white rice. Anyyyway, the professor starts looking through the pages. When he gets to mine, he puts all of them down and holds mine up. First of all, I have awful man hand writing. Way to throw me under the bus. So he gets confused when he reads mine and decides to ask the class while passing around my oh so fun fact who Morgan is and what gnomes are. Yes, I collect gnomes. Someone asked if those were the the things with colored hair. No. No. No. How do these people not know the difference between a garden gnome and a troll??
Anyway, every one was silent and all I could muster up to say was "Well, this is uncomfortable." And before the professor went back to the plan for the day, he made sure to say point out that was a really creepy thing to collect. Thank you. So much. Afterwards someone may have approached me to ask about them. And by may have I mean definitely did. And to exhibit the fact that I have not an ounce of social skills once more, I started rambling about how my residents think I'm sooooo weird. Which they do. But that's another post for another day. The point you should be getting from that last tidbit is that if a person of the opposite sex that is even mildly attractive (according to my standards, which are strange from what essentially everyone on the planet tells me... which is a-whole-nother post for a-whole-nother day...) I WILL absolutely embarrass myself.
--Which, by coincidence, is a perfect lead in to another tale of my awkward slash creepy behavior. I hate holidays, nay occasions that are supposed to be celebrated by drinking excessively and hooking up with someone. This might be because I don't (typically) do either of those things (at least I'm honest...), but nevertheless... My best friend was living with her boyfriend at the time in an apartment building close enough to my place (and work) for me to be there often. I spent New Year's Eve there at a little get together. I'm not downplaying the situation, it really was a small get together. Probably because her boyfriend was a raging alcoholic and an absolute dick. I had gotten out of, or better put- been let out of, what I would consider a serious relationship a few months prior. Let's refer to him as C hereafter- because I do bitterly reference things more than I should. Anyyyyway, things between us were still in limbo. And by still in limbo, I mean that he still lived with me essentially and I was still acting the definition of pathetic. Obviously, I was okay with finding a rebound because C had already been through the girl he found while we were together AND a club whore at that point. Luckily for me, my best friend had a neighbor that was also a single AND functioning alcoholic. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES, RIGHT?!?! And I won't even lie, I welcomed some attention. Maybe a little too eagerly, but nevertheless... Long story short, or not, he invited me over to his place to "get away from the party". All I need to hear was "I have a puppy AND I want to make out with you," and I was obviously there. But no, the universe does not work that way. Not for me. I was always destined for incredible awkwardness. So after some very nice sweet talk and a walk to his apartment, I proceeded to puke. I had consumed absolutely NO alcohol, I promise you. I just get stressed way too easily. When I get nervous or laugh too hard, I really will hurl. Its happened more than a few times. Somewhere between the "I want to make out with you" and the eight missed calls I ignored from C telling me to "Let him sleep at my place, again. Because THAT is what good friends do", my body said "Effff you Morgan. You will have no rebound. Because you will puke outside the Brittney's neighbor's door." I. AM. NOT. KIDDING. That's when I started to cry/laugh hysterically. And run to my car. Literally. I turned around and ran to my car. That's my life.
When things like that happen, I immediately call/text/send pictures to Skylar. She gets it, she really does. And that's why we made this blog- to document these situations.
Yours awkwardly, and creepily,
Morgan
Monday, April 19, 2010
An Introduction: Welcome to SkyVans!!
My name is Morgan.
And I'm Skylar. We're best friends.
But we live three states away from each other. I'm in Dallas, Texas, and she's in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Because we live in different states, the only way we can keep in touch with each other is through technology. Our lives are too funny to keep to ourselves so we decided to make a blog to share our hilarity.
Also, since we have jobs and friends, we want this to remain semi-anonymous. So if you know us, please don't give away our last names or personal information. Personally, I want to share stories about how ridiculous my life is without getting fired.
Yes, please don't give away Morgan's personal information because she needs to keep her job so she can support me financially in my old age. IF you decide to blow our covers, you better be prepared to take me in and let me live with you FOREVER. Trust me, even though I'm awesome, it wouldn't be fun for you.
She's not lying. I'm the only person that would enjoy that. Unless you like marathons of old Jon & Kate episodes and eating Ramen noodles and hot sauce for breakfast. Then you might like living with Skylar.
This blog is not only for everyone else, but its for us to keep in touch. Because Morgan's phone HATES me. I think we should just get walkie-talkies but she says it isn't a good idea. I think walkie-talkies are a perfect solution for our problem.
No. Absolutely not. I have classes to go to and I do NOT need everyone in class to hear you say creepy things to me.
Honestly, what's so creepy about me saying your name over and over and over and over and over in different dialects until you answer??
I would go out of my way to say really weird things to you. I would walkie-talkie you randomly throughout the day with things like "Skylar, it puts the lotion on the skin," and
Seriously, if you look up the definition of "creep" in the dictionary, you see a picture of Morgan. When I'm on facebook, she sends me links to pictures of other people.
Listen, that girl is AMAZING!
I should clarify, Morgan likes boys. So do I. She just admires peoples in a creepy, non-sexual way.
Speaking of boys...
Let me guess, you need advice on a situation? Even though I'm single, I give the best guy advice.
Or I'm just pathetic enough that ANY advice sounds good.
No, I really do give good advice. But you're love life is pretty pathetic.
I would typically get mad at that, but it kind of is. Or I just make pathetic choices.
Like that time you let your ex-boyfriend live with you while he was in a relationship with someone else?
Yes. Exactly like that time. If you follow our blog, you'll get to hear about even more bad decisions I make.
And the great advice I give.
Our posts alternate, so you'll get to read about my adventures every Tuesday and Thursday and Skylar's every Monday and Wednesday. Every Friday is advice day. So that pretty much means I'll throw out a scenario and Skylar with throw in her two cents, like she always does. Even if it isn't advice day. If YOU have a question, you should really email us.
With the creepiest love you'll ever know,
Skylar & Morgan
And I'm Skylar. We're best friends.
But we live three states away from each other. I'm in Dallas, Texas, and she's in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
Because we live in different states, the only way we can keep in touch with each other is through technology. Our lives are too funny to keep to ourselves so we decided to make a blog to share our hilarity.
Also, since we have jobs and friends, we want this to remain semi-anonymous. So if you know us, please don't give away our last names or personal information. Personally, I want to share stories about how ridiculous my life is without getting fired.
Yes, please don't give away Morgan's personal information because she needs to keep her job so she can support me financially in my old age. IF you decide to blow our covers, you better be prepared to take me in and let me live with you FOREVER. Trust me, even though I'm awesome, it wouldn't be fun for you.
She's not lying. I'm the only person that would enjoy that. Unless you like marathons of old Jon & Kate episodes and eating Ramen noodles and hot sauce for breakfast. Then you might like living with Skylar.
This blog is not only for everyone else, but its for us to keep in touch. Because Morgan's phone HATES me. I think we should just get walkie-talkies but she says it isn't a good idea. I think walkie-talkies are a perfect solution for our problem.
No. Absolutely not. I have classes to go to and I do NOT need everyone in class to hear you say creepy things to me.
Honestly, what's so creepy about me saying your name over and over and over and over and over in different dialects until you answer??
I would go out of my way to say really weird things to you. I would walkie-talkie you randomly throughout the day with things like "Skylar, it puts the lotion on the skin," and
Seriously, if you look up the definition of "creep" in the dictionary, you see a picture of Morgan. When I'm on facebook, she sends me links to pictures of other people.
Listen, that girl is AMAZING!
I should clarify, Morgan likes boys. So do I. She just admires peoples in a creepy, non-sexual way.
Speaking of boys...
Let me guess, you need advice on a situation? Even though I'm single, I give the best guy advice.
Or I'm just pathetic enough that ANY advice sounds good.
No, I really do give good advice. But you're love life is pretty pathetic.
I would typically get mad at that, but it kind of is. Or I just make pathetic choices.
Like that time you let your ex-boyfriend live with you while he was in a relationship with someone else?
Yes. Exactly like that time. If you follow our blog, you'll get to hear about even more bad decisions I make.
And the great advice I give.
Our posts alternate, so you'll get to read about my adventures every Tuesday and Thursday and Skylar's every Monday and Wednesday. Every Friday is advice day. So that pretty much means I'll throw out a scenario and Skylar with throw in her two cents, like she always does. Even if it isn't advice day. If YOU have a question, you should really email us.
With the creepiest love you'll ever know,
Skylar & Morgan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)